Parenting Blog

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"Is there a way to change how we experience the hair-pulling challenges of mothering?  Can one truly alter her feelings in the midst of the supermarket trip from hell? … there is always another way to see the situation, a way that potentially offers greater peace, comfort, acceptance, and balance than our initial response.”
-- Bethany Casarjian, Ph.D. & Diane H. Dillon, Ph.D.


Baffled about what you should do when your kid does something you don’t like, and you're too upset to think straight?

There are always times when we simply can't get our emotions into alignment with our conscious desire to be a patient parent. When this happens, sometimes we have to act our way into who we want to be, and let our feelings follow.  So when you don't know what to do:  READ POST

Friday, November 30, 2012 | Permalink

"Let it go. The moment you feel your hackles rising, let it go. If you let it upset you, what follows is anger, and to quote Yoda, that leads to the dark side....Notice … and interrupt it. Find your own way of accepting things with grace."  -- Steve Errey

All parents get angry at their children. And there's nothing wrong with anger; anger is a message. The problem is that we can't hear that message clearly while we're angry. In the heat of the moment, we think the message is that we should hurt our child. In fact, the message might be that we need to put him to bed an hour earlier.  READ POST

Thursday, November 29, 2012 | Permalink

"One generation of deeply loving parents would change the brain of the next generation, and with that, the world." - Charles Raison  READ POST

Tuesday, November 27, 2012 | Permalink

"It's especially important during the holidays to remember that aiming for a PERFECT holiday is actually a bad goal. Not only is perfection impossible and striving for it adds stress, but honestly, the holidays families remember most fondly are those when the dog ate the cake, or everybody got the flu on Thanksgiving. Play it loose, have a sense of humor..." -- Meg Cox

If you live in the US, you're already bracing yourself for Thanksgiving Thursday. (If you don't, I hope this post will start you thinking about your December holiday.) 

Are you trying to figure out how to get everything done this week?  Or how to go beyond mere gluttony to add some meaning and gratitude in between courses?  I'm the first to trumpet the benefit to our kids -- and ourselves -- of rituals, and of learning the habit of gratitude.  And you'll find plenty of ideas on the Aha! Parenting website to add meaning and Aha! moments to your family's Thanksgiving.

But my plea to you this week is to remember that perfection is not attainable, and striving for that magazine-spread holiday will only stress you out and make you yell at your kids. Luckily, perfection isn't necessary for you and your family to have a perfectly wonderful Thanksgiving.  READ POST

Wednesday, November 21, 2012 | Permalink

"I don't negotiate with my kids, I think it would confuse them... And didn't you say in a previous post that parents should stand firm so that children know they can trust them to mean what they say? It seems that allowing negotiation would undermine that, and give the child the impression that the parent isn't confident in the boundary they are enforcing... Wouldn't it make more sense to tell the child in the first place if a particular request is a choice, instead of giving an instruction and then allowing them to negotiate their way out of it?" - Sylv  READ POST

Thursday, November 15, 2012 | Permalink

"When we acknowledge our children’s right to want things, as well as their right to be upset when they can’t have what they want, it goes a long way toward defusing their anger and the tantrums that occur as a result.”  -- Nancy Samalin

We can't say yes to everything our child wants. Sometimes we need to say No, for their own good, or for the greater good of the family or community. It's hard for children to accept big disappointments and weather that sadness. But when we allow them to feel their disappointment and love them through it, they learn that:  READ POST

Wednesday, November 14, 2012 | Permalink

"In a society that has figured out that parents deserve support, you would be able to push a button and call the Parent Rescue Squad....Three people arrive within five minutes...One takes you over and listens to how your day has gone and how your child is driving you crazy....One is helping your child with his project and giving him some carrots and peanut butter....One peels the baby off your leg and plays with the baby for awhile...until your family is triaged and put back together and your patience is healed...It only takes about 20 minutes...and then they go down the street to the next family who could use a little help." - Patty Wipfler  READ POST

Friday, November 09, 2012 | Permalink