Parenting Blog

“Dr. Laura....How do you raise children without consequences in a world where there are heavy consequences as adults?  How will they know right from wrong when they are never taught something will happen when they do wrong?  What should we do if one of the kids destroys property? What should we do if we tell them to do something and they don't listen? What if they hit another kid?"...Kristin

We've spent all week answering Kristin's terrific question -- one that all parents sometimes have. In Tuesday's post, we looked at why punishment doesn't teach kids to do the right thing.  Yesterday, we looked at how kids learn right from wrong.  Today, we're answering the very tough question, What if your child DOES know right from wrong and chooses to do wrong?  Specifically,  how can you handle not listening, hitting, and destruction of property with loving guidance that keeps these things from happening again?   READ POST

“Dr. Laura....How do you raise children without consequences in a world where there are heavy consequences as adults? How will they know right from wrong when they are never taught something will happen when they do wrong?  What should we do if one of the kids destroys property? What should we do if we tell them to do something and they don't listen? What if they hit another kid at school?"...Kristin

In yesterday's post, we addressed the fact that punishment doesn't teach kids right from wrong; it just teaches them not to get caught doing wrong.

Today, let's think about how children learn right from wrong.  Little ones are actually hungry for our guidance.  They trust us, the parents who care for them, to have their best interests at heart, so they trust what we say, and they will always, eventually, do what we do.  Most of what children learn is from what we model.   READ POST

"One generation full of deeply loving parents would change the brain of the next generation, and with that, the world." ~ Dr. Chales Raison

I'm so excited to announce that my book, Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How to Stop Yelling & Start Connecting, will be published by Perigee-Penguin this December. The book will be out just in time for you to put it on your wish list for the holidays.  I'll post the pre-order info as soon as I have it.

The even better news is that I'll be doing book tours all over the country. So if you'd like me to speak to your parenting group, school, church or synagogue, this is the time!  Please drop me an email, let me know where you are, and tell me about your group.

As my plans take shape, I'll be publicizing my appearances.  I hope you'll come to one of my talks so we can meet. 

From the bottom of my heart, thank you for reading this blog, and for supporting my work on behalf of parents.  Together, we're changing the world.

  READ POST

“Dr. Laura....I just don't get it. How can kids learn to behave if they're never punished? I would never hit them, but what about timeouts and consequences? Everyone knows that children need discipline."

To answer this question, I went to the best source I know:  My children.  They were never punished, including with timeouts or parent-contrived consequences.  They were never even yelled at more than once or twice. So there was none of the teaching that most of us associate with conventional discipline. And yet they're now considerate, responsible, happy people.  How do they explain it?   READ POST

"If you can access your love, you have everything you need....If you sow more love where there's fear and stress, the child's challenging behaviors will go away." - Bryan Post

"Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space lies our freedom and power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and freedom." - Victor Frankl

Often parents feel helpless in the face of their child’s tantrums, lying, sulking, irresponsibility or other challenging behavior.  But you don’t need to feel victimized.  In fact, feeling powerless to intervene keeps you AND your child stuck.    READ POST

I have been sceptical in the past of hugging a child who is screaming at you and being generally quite awful ... in theory I know it makes sense but I find it hard when they are being so hateful and you don't feel particularly loving! But I had a breakthrough. I wanted my 3 yr old to put his coat on as it was freezing outside. His behaviour was deteriorating and when he screamed at me I just said - "What's up love? I think you need a big mummy cuddle and you can tell me what's making you feel bad." Then I hugged him and he burst into tears. We had a cuddle and he put his coat on happily! It was textbook "Dr. Laura"! - Rachel

"Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible." - Dalai Lama

When your child snarls at you, could you just offer love?    READ POST

"The reason a child will act unkindly or cause damage is always innocent. Sometimes she is playful and free spirited, and other times, when aggressive or angry she is unhappy or confused. The more disturbing the behaviour, the more the child is in pain and in need of your love and understanding. In other words, there is no such thing as bad behaviour in children. Instead there is a child who is doing the best she can and we don’t understand her.” – Naomi Aldort

Parents are often shocked when they hear that I don’t believe in most of what we think of as discipline (spankings, consequences, timeouts) because it keeps kids from becoming responsible, self-disciplined people. “How will my child learn how to behave?” they ask.   READ POST