"Before we're 8 years old, we have almost no
capacity to filter out information that comes to us. So if parents or
teachers, people we count on to nurture us, say something hurtful to us
before the age of eight...it goes in quite deep and we carry those
misbeliefs with us. They profoundly affect our relationship to
ourselves, to others...our sense of value in the world." -- Dr. David
What did you learn before you were eight? That you're a capable person, worthy of adoration and an abundant life, lovable exactly as you are, even with all of your messy imperfections, bodily functions, anger, fear, and neediness? Or maybe that you somehow aren't lovable enough to have your needs completely met, that some of your feelings and body parts are shameful, that harsh words or even blows might rain down on you at any time? READ POST
"Dr. Laura....I do try to find things to appreciate about my children. But there are some behaviors that are simply not acceptable. How can I find something positive to say when my daughter raises her voice to me, or makes loud noises on purpose when I'm feeding the baby, or won't get in the tub? She looks right at me and refuses to follow my requests." -- Carmen READ POST
"If all you did was just look for things to appreciate you would live a joyous, spectacular life." - Esther Hicks
You could probably find negative things to say to your child all day long. All of them "deserved" and none of them effective in helping your child want to cooperate.
"Get out of bed right now...Aren't you ready yet?....You'd lose your head if it wasn't on your shoulders....How many times have I told you?....Pick up your things...Stop that right now...You're wearing me out....Don't start with me....Leave your sister alone...Are you listening to me?...I said NOW!...What part of No don't you understand?" READ POST
The verb "To Wean" comes from a Hebrew word meaning to ripen. So when the time is ripe (or maybe when the child is ripe?!) the child no longer needs to nurse. That process is designed by Mother Nature to be an organic, natural one, like any other kind of ripening. READ POST
"If you entertain thoughts that... your child is
manipulating you, taking advantage of you, ignoring you, or
disrespecting you -- you will often feel annoyed, irritated, and angry.
However, when instead you think in terms of the needs that you and your
child are trying to meet, then you are more likely to feel compassion
and connection. And you are much more likely to take action that
contributes to your child's well-being as well as your own." -- Sura
Hart & Victoria Kindle-Hodson
Is your child's behavior irritating you? Whether he's whining, bossy, or defiant, here's why -- what you can do about it. READ POST
embarrassed to admit it but I DO feel like life is drudgery. I mean, I
love my kids, but I get home from work and I have to constantly nag
them to stop playing and do what I tell them, or we'll never get them
fed and to bed."
"When we put a stopper on our capacity for joy by anorexically declining the small gifts of life, we turn aside the larger gifts as well." - Julia Cameron
Being a good parent is tough. So often, our needs come second. The exhaustion of being constantly on call wears us out. And the responsibility of keeping everyone moving through the routine erodes our sense of humor. READ POST
"I'd love to be able to parent this way but
unfortunately my children have always been very strong willed and even
though there is a part of them that wants to do the right thing, the
part that wants to have the most fun generally wins out. How do you
discipline them without resorting to traditional forms of punishment?"
Discipline means to guide. Punishment means to persuade with unpleasant or painful consequences. So to guide kids without resorting to traditional forms of punishment, you simply offer guidance, while resisting the urge to punish. And you parent in such a way that your child WANTS to follow your guidance, so the part of him that wants to do the right thing wins out. READ POST