Parenting Blog

"Before we're 8 years old, we have almost no capacity to filter out information that comes to us. So if parents or teachers, people we count on to nurture us, say something hurtful to us before the age of eight...it goes in quite deep and we carry those misbeliefs with us. They profoundly affect our relationship to ourselves, to others...our sense of value in the world."  -- Dr. David Simon

What did you learn before you were eight?  That you're a capable person, worthy of adoration and an abundant life, lovable exactly as you are, even with all of your messy imperfections, bodily functions, anger, fear, and neediness?  Or maybe that you somehow aren't lovable enough to have your needs completely met, that some of your feelings and body parts are shameful, that harsh words or even blows might rain down on you at any time?  READ POST

"Dr. Laura....I do try to find things to appreciate about my children.  But there are some behaviors that are simply not acceptable.  How can I find something positive to say when my daughter raises her voice to me, or makes loud noises on purpose when I'm feeding the baby, or won't get in the tub?  She looks right at me and refuses to follow my requests." -- Carmen  READ POST

"I read Dr. Laura every day and I can actually feel my brain being rewired. I sense myself making continual progress towards the mother I want to be. I'm learning to love myself unconditionally along the way, too." – Mamammalia

"The main difference between a master and a beginner is that the master practices more." -- Yasha Heifetz, Master Violinist

You've probably noticed that things work better with your kids when you're in a good mood. At least half of the time when we get irritated, impatient, or frustrated with our kids, it's because we're already feeling unhappy.  Then there's a spark, our bad mood flares, and before we know it we're in the middle of a firestorm. That's why noticing your own mood and keeping it positive transforms your parenting (and your brain.)

The other half of the time our anger is "justified" in the sense that our child acts in ways that trigger us. Naturally, we want to lash out, to blame, to make our child feel bad.  Isn't that how she'll learn?  READ POST

"I connect well with my children (and follow many principles of attachment parenting). I try to make things a game. I don't really punish. We have lots of hugs. Yet still, my 2.5 year old bites his sisters, throws food, writes on the furniture, breaks things. What's next when these steps don't work?" - Albie

Two year olds act like two year olds because their frontal cortex is still developing the ability to control their emotions. That means they throw food, break things, have meltdowns, bite when they're mad, and write on the furniture. But since the brain is still developing through the teen years, kids of all ages sometimes lack the rational control to behave as we'd like.

So what can you do, whether your child's a toddler or a teen?  Help him with his emotions so they don't drive "misbehavior" -- and stay connected so he's motivated to develop self-control. Here's your 3 Step Plan for preventing most misbehavior, for all age kids.  Here's your 3 Step Plan for preventing most misbehavior, for all age kids.  READ POST

"If all you did was just look for things to appreciate you would live a joyous, spectacular life." - Esther Hicks

You could probably find negative things to say to your child all day long.  All of them "deserved" and none of them effective in helping your child want to cooperate.

"Get out of bed right now...Aren't you ready yet?....You'd lose your head if it wasn't on your shoulders....How many times have I told you?....Pick up your things...Stop that right now...You're wearing me out....Don't start with me....Leave your sister alone...Are you listening to me?...I said NOW!...What part of No don't you understand?"  READ POST

The verb "To Wean" comes from a Hebrew word meaning to ripen.  So when the time is ripe (or maybe when the child is ripe?!) the child no longer needs to nurse. That process is designed by Mother Nature to be an organic, natural one, like any other kind of ripening.  READ POST

"If you entertain thoughts that... your child is manipulating you, taking advantage of you, ignoring you, or disrespecting you -- you will often feel annoyed, irritated, and angry.  However, when instead you think in terms of the needs that you and your child are trying to meet, then you are more likely to feel compassion and connection.  And you are much more likely to take action that contributes to your child's well-being as well as your own."  -- Sura Hart & Victoria Kindle-Hodson

Is your child's behavior irritating you? Whether he's whining, bossy, or defiant, here's why -- what you can do about it.  READ POST