"Dr. Laura...You wrote: 'Sometimes
kids need to cry...Set a reasonable limit and welcome his meltdown.'
Are you saying that I should just say No and let my son cry, and things
will get better? That's what my parents did, and I spent hours in my
room crying. It wasn't good for me, and it made me so angry at them." -
Shelly makes a good point. Kids do need to cry, to heal all those feelings that are making them act out. But that's only healing if they have a compassionate witness -- the safe haven of a parent. Leaving your child to cry alone gives her the message that she's all alone with those scary feelings, just when she needs us most. READ POST
"Throw the word "consequence" entirely out of your vocabulary and replace it with the term "problem-solving."--Becky Eanes
"My 3.5yr old was sitting on the couch after bath wearing her towel and said NO about 5x to get in her pj's. I was busy w/ the baby and I heard my husband say "OK fine - no books then!" so I said "Hey! We've got a problem - it's bedtime and you need to be in your PJ's - How do YOU think we should solve it?" And just like that - she got a big grin her face, suggested we all clap our hands and march our feet and we formed a line right into her room - happily! Same thing for teeth brushing and potty later! Each time I said "Hey, great problem solving skills! Thank you!" And her response? "You're welcome mama - no problem!" - Carrie
Most parenting experts suggest that when children "misbehave" the best response is "consequences." Parents are told that letting children experience the consequences of their poor choices will teach them lessons. Makes sense, right? READ POST
Laura...How do I explain this kind of parenting to other parents who
think I’m spoiling my child? They all use timeouts and other
punishments.” -- Rebecca
The stakes are high in parenting. When we're choosing to do things differently, it's easy to feel defensive -- especially when other people question our parenting practices. After all, if you explain that your way raises emotionally healthy kids, and the other parent is raising their child differently, what does that say about them? Conflict is inevitable. READ POST
"Dr. Laura...I hate Father's Day. My children's
father left us and takes no interest in them. And then I get your email
about how important fathers are. Are my children scarred for life?"
"Dr. Laura....My partner and I (both women) chose to have two children using a sperm donor. We work hard to be excellent parents. We do have extended family who love our children, but no male who could be called a father figure. We tell our children they have two mommies instead of a mom and dad."
"Dr. Laura...I am a single mother by choice. I resent the implication that I am damaging my child."
Yesterday, I sent my weekly email a day early in honor of Father's Day. If you missed it, it's here. As always, I received a number of responses from mothers who are raising children without fathers. Whether by choice or by fate, these moms are working hard to give their children everything they need, but there is one thing they aren't giving them: a father. Understandably, they bristle when I say that fathers are important.
So even though you already received your weekly email yesterday, I'm including you in this daily mailing, just in case this topic applies to you. If it doesn't, please feel free to delete it right now, and enjoy the Father's Day email from yesterday. I'll look forward to talking with you in my next email as usual. But if my Father's Day email touched a nerve with you, this post is for you. READ POST
Today is Father's Day. The perfect time to honor every Dad who shows up for his kids each day committed to being the best father he can. You are making a huge difference in your child's life -- now, and every day of your child's future. Thank you. READ POST
who have been responded to, led to believe - in a healthy way - that
their voice is valued, that all they have to do is object and action
will be taken - they will push boundaries. And this is really healthy
behaviour. Compliance? They've learned there's no point arguing because
their voice isn't valued." - Alison Roy
Most parents feel embarrassed when their child doesn't obey them. When we say jump, they're supposed to jump, right? If they don't, isn't that evidence that we're lousy parents? READ POST
"All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players." - William Shakespeare
The problem with parenting is that we don't get any prep time. We're always on stage, performing for an audience that responds to our every thoughtless word or action. We learn our lines as we go, improvising. As soon as we master a cue, it's replaced by a new one. We spend the entire play just trying to get ahead of the action enough to think about what to do next. READ POST