Latest Posts
"More often than not, fear doesn’t emerge as
nail-biting, cold-feet terror, but surfaces instead as anger,
perfectionism, pessimism, low-level anxiety, depression, and feelings of
isolation. In these many disguises, fear can permeate life, leaving
room for little else. It morphs from one pseudoemotion to another,
rarely declaring itself, poisoning each moment it touches." -- Dan
Baker, Ph.D.
You may think your moods just come out of nowhere. But scientists now
believe that moods are mostly a response to what we think, usually
without even noticing. So those bad moods and cranky days are often
created by our own inner critics. READ POST
"Dr. Laura....When I stop and take a breath, I am amazed at the amount of negative thoughts in my head—typically criticizing my ability as a mom, or a wife, or an employee, or a daughter or a friend. It’s so hard to feel like I’m doing anything well at all. How do we get out of the negative thought patterns?" -- Amy READ POST
"Where does resilience come
from?....It comes from knowing that you never have to be
alone….If you feel connected, you will always be able to deal with
adversity. The skills we need to deal with adversity begin with a
feeling of I can handle this. It is a feeling of No matter what happens, I can find a solution; a feeling of I have dealt with hard times and come out fine before; a feeling of Even when I feel lost, I always have somewhere to turn.” – Dr. Edward Hallowell
Life
is full of hard knocks. What makes some people get up the next morning
determined to try again, while others give up? Resilience. READ POST
"My 7 year old daughter has started wanting to make other people (mainly her brother) hurt when she is emotionally hurt. So something happens that hurts her feelings and immediately she wants to lash out and try to make others feel like she does. She steps on a toy, her foot really hurts, she’s crying and it was my fault or her brother’s fault." - Sheryl READ POST
"Behind the anger, behind the
disrespect, and behind the manipulation is a scared child in desperate
need of connection, love, and acceptance. ... If you show up for your
child in a different state, he can only be different...When you are in a
loving state, you automatically do the right thing...Love never fails."
- Heather T. Forbes
What does Valentine’s Day have
to do with parenting? Love. The purpose of Valentines Day is to
celebrate love of all kinds. The purpose of parenting, quite obviously,
is to raise children. But I believe that parenting has a secret
purpose--to transform us, the parents. Parenting helps us heal
ourselves.
Live more fully. Learn to love unconditionally.
We all forget that, of course.
Everyday life often seems like a series of struggles to get our kids to
sleep through the night, use the potty, brush their teeth, eat their
dinner, stop teasing their sibling, do their homework. Those struggles
can take all the joy out of parenting.
But it doesn't have to be
that way. It's true that we don't actually have control over our kids,
who, after all, are fully human and will make their own choices. And
it's true that our ideas of what our child "should" do won't always
align with our child's ideas. But there are ways to avoid the struggle
to begin with, by staying connected, seeing things from your child's
perspective and looking for win/win solutions. And even once there are
hurt feelings and anger on both sides, even once it feels like you're
trapped in resentment, there's a way out. READ POST
"What I have learned from this book (Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How To Stop Yelling and Start Connecting) has already improved my relationship
with my eight year old son. My son thanked me this morning for reading
this book. He said I am turning into the mom he always wanted. 'Even if
it means you don't always get your way?' I asked. He replied, 'It's easy
to learn from my mistakes when you aren't yelling at me about them.' I
almost burst into tears. This book is amazing, and by reading it I
showed him that it is never to late to change your ways."- Shannon
Kids like to get their way. But there's
something every child wants even more: Someone who loves you, no matter
what. Someone who doesn't yell when you make mistakes. Who loves you
even when you're mad or whining, who listens and empathizes ...even when
you're wrong, even when you were so upset you were rude, even when you
hit your sister. Someone who loves you enough to overcome their own
upsets to help you through yours. Someone who holds a vision of you as
your best self, even when you can't find that self. READ POST
"A
journalist visited a town famous for its rampant unhappiness to see if
he could understand its origin. Walking down the street, he noticed a
man ahead of him. Suddenly, a little man, no more than a few inches
high, appeared and ran up the man's leg. He started sticking pins into
the man and sewing things to him. Instantly, the man was covered by
these tiny tailors, all sticking him with pins. He looked completely
miserable as he shuffled off. The journalist saw this happen to one
person after another, until he was ready to give up and go home. The
town was completely infested with tiny tailors; no wonder everyone was
unhappy. Then the journalist noticed one woman covered with tiny tailors
who apparently said something, and the tiny tailors just melted away.
The journalist ran over to her. 'What did you say to get free of them?!"
he exclaimed. 'Oh,' she answered, 'It was nothing. I just told them
I've decided to stop measuring myself.'” -- Guy Finley
Most
of the time when we find ourselves anxious or unhappy, it's because
we've been measuring ourselves and come up short. We're constantly
comparing ourselves to an ideal in our minds of what we should be.
Unfortunately, no live human can ever live up to an ideal. READ POST



