Parenting Blog

Just before Christmas, I asked if there was a miracle you’d like to create in your life in the coming year.  Have you decided?

Not that you can’t create more than one miracle, but the more specific you can be about what your miracle will look like, and how you will feel when it manifests, the faster you can create it.  
That means that focusing on one miracle at a time is most effective.

Is your miracle about the way you parent?
The way your kids behave?
Your relationship with your child?
Or is there something else in your life that needs healing
So that you can be the parent you want to be?

With the coming new year I invite you to claim your miracle.
Start visualizing your miracle as if it has already happened
Many times each day
Not with yearning but with gratitude,
Give up any attachment to how your prayer is answered
And just say thank you.

May your day be filled with blessings, large and small.

Happy December 24th!

Lighting candles at Chanuka, watching my children’s faces in the flickering candlelight as they sing.

As a child myself, turning off the house lights and trooping outside with my father to gaze in awe at the Christmas tree lights twinkling in our big front window.  

Christmas and Chanukah share a spiritual message: that it is possible to create miracles in a world of darkness and despair.  This truly is the season of miracles.

What miracle would make your life better this year?
Ask for it, right now.
Miracles happen every day.
Why not yours?
Then imagine your miracle has already happened.
Visualize it as a reality.   
Stay with that feeling.
From that place of excited joy, say thank you.
Hold that fulfilled feeling as long as you can.
Give up any attachment to how your prayer is answered
And just say thank you.
Revisit it many times a day, in every private moment you have,
Not with yearning but with gratitude,
Knowing that your miracle is on the way.
May your day be filled with miracles, large and small.

Welcome to the new website!

Thank you for supporting and inspiring the transformation of YourParentingSolutions.com into Aha! Parenting.com.  We're still getting the kinks out, so if you notice any, drop an email -- and please be patient with us.

I hope the new name communicates something about that tangible moment of insight when suddenly we see things differently, and everything transforms.  Or, at least, we transform, which inevitably leads to our kids' transforming.

This website is dedicated to the inner wisdom of all parents, and the possibility that each of us can experience those Aha! moments that allow us to turn around any tangle we're getting into with our kids.

What more appropriate time to launch such a website than in this season of miracles?

I hope your holidays and new year are filled with miracles, large and small.
Dr. Laura Markham

Happy December 23!

December Parenting Survival Skill #3:
Don’t expect family holiday visits to be perfect. Enjoy them anyway.

We all want our relatives to see how wonderful our kids are, but most kids don't show well in a chaotic, unfamiliar situation. Some tips for a smooth visit:
 
Kids tend to get cranky and stressed with travel and schedule changes, so limit the number of activities each day.
Allow ample opportunity for outdoor play and running around.
Be sure everyone (including you!) gets enough sleep.
Bring healthy snacks, since you won’t be in charge of when meals are served.
Be aware that kids are easily over-stimulated. When he gets fussy, take him outside. If he does dissolve into tears, hold and sooth him but don’t stop the crying. You'll find that after he gets a chance to “vent” he’ll be much less fussy.
Print out photos of the folks you’ll be seeing and make a little book for your child. Their faces will be familiar even though the situation isn’t.
Early to bed and early to rise gives little ones time to explore the house early in the morning while other folks are still in bed. That will make her feel more comfortable even when the place starts hopping. Invite Grandma to see how wonderful she is when she’s rested and not over-whelmed.
Always explain to kids in advance what will be happening and what kind of behavior you expect. Connect with them frequently even if they’re off romping with the cousins.
Don’t forget that family visits can be stressful for you too. Pamper yourself.

What are you doing today to make sure your own cup is full?

May your day be filled with blessings, large and small.

December Parenting Survival Skill #3:
Don’t do holiday tasks alone, unless you really love doing them.  

If you like nothing better than to put on music and fill the house with delicious aromas, then I wish you happy baking. But don’t set yourself up to feel like a martyr at midnight, when you find yourself bleary-eyed facing a sink full of dirty dishes.  Always find a partner for holiday tasks. The cookies might not look so professional with the kids’ help, but that makes them all the more valued by the recipient! It’s a great opportunity for fun with family members, and the kids love the one-on-one time with mom.

And if you can’t recruit anyone, consider that maybe you don’t actually need to do more baking, or decorating, or whatever, if it isn’t important to anyone else.

If your kids are too young to help, it’s even more important to limit what you do. What they want this holiday season is meaning and connection, not decorations, or seasonal events, or even, ultimately, presents.  Your kids need you to be in a good mood, ready to make merry and make meaning.  Keep it simple.  Don’t try to create some glossy magazine vision of the holiday.  In parenting, your mood matters more to your kids than anything else.  

What’s your plan today to fill your own cup with love and joy?


“My memories of Christmas as a child are of stress. My mother wanted everything to be perfect and got so worked up trying to do it all that it made the rest of the family crazy. I remember my dad comforting me when I was about 8yrs-old, I was crying and said “I hate Christmas” and he said “I do, too, honey. We just have to get through it.” For my kids I try to be relaxed and fun. We make ornaments for friends and family in December and give them out as we see people — gets us into the giving without thought of receiving. We take time to see the lights around town, to decorate and appreciate our tree. We talk about the other festivals of lights and remember that feasting and gifts are to make the darkest, coldest time of year merry. We celebrate the return of the sun.
We relax and play and laugh and appreciate each other.” - Amy S.