Parenting Blog

“My memories of Christmas as a child are of stress. My mother wanted everything to be perfect and got so worked up trying to do it all that it made the rest of the family crazy. I remember my dad comforting me when I was about 8yrs-old, I was crying and said 'I hate Christmas' and he said 'I do, too, honey. We just have to get through it.' For my kids I try to be relaxed and fun. We make ornaments for friends and family in December and give them out as we see people — gets us into the giving without thought of receiving. We take time to see the lights around town, to decorate and appreciate our tree. We talk about the other festivals of lights and remember that feasting and gifts are to make the darkest, coldest time of year merry. We celebrate the return of the sun. We relax and play and laugh and appreciate each other." --  Amy S

What's the #1 Parenting Survival Skill, in December and all year long?  No, not knowing how to out-argue your 11 year old, charm your 3 year old into cooperating, or even get your baby to sleep through the night.  The #1 parenting survival skill with any age child is to manage and nurture yourself so that you can stay calm and loving with your child.

Remember that the holidays are stressful for kids, and they depend on you.  Your good mood helps your child to regulate his own mood. If you’re out of balance, you won’t be able to help your kid stay on an even keel. In fact, if you’re anxious about everything you have to get done, I promise you that your child will begin to act out.

Your child doesn't need a magazine-spread holiday. She needs you, in a good mood, living the spirit of the season and spreading love and good cheer.  How?

• Pare back your schedule to do only the essentials. Just say no to whatever doesn’t bring you joy.
• Find ways to laugh at what will inevitably go wrong. The dog ate the turkey?  Order Chinese food and make the best of it.  This will give you so much laughter as you tell the story over the years that it's well worth the temporary disappointment!
• Be sure your own expectations of the season are reasonable. (What makes you think your difficult relative will suddenly be less difficult this year?)
• Make sure you nurture yourself and stay in balance. Start by getting enough sleep.
• The minute your mood veers from loving to frenzied, stop. Hug your children and regroup.
• Count your blessings and say thank you for everything good in your life, every day.
• At New Years, pat yourself on the back and congratulate yourself on a job well done, not just in December, but all year long.

What’s your plan today to fill your own cup with love and joy?
May your day be filled with miracles, large and small.