Parenting Blog

“Life is not a dress rehearsal. Every day, you should have at least one exquisite moment.” -- Sally Karioth

Ever notice that when you find your way to your own internal fountain of well-being, it overflows onto your children and you’re a more patient, loving, joyful parent?  Quite simply, we can only give what we have inside. That's why the first step in becoming an inspired parent is learning to take better care of ourselves, to keep our own tanks full so we aren’t running on empty.

And taking care of ourselves has to include learning how to tap into joy. Otherwise, parenting (and life!) becomes one long burden.  Kids need to know they're a source of joy for us.  If they sense that we find life with them to be drudgery, what can they conclude about themselves?

Of course, there are times when parenting DOES feel burdensome.  But we can minimize those times by finding the joy that sings silently in the ordinary moments of our lives.  Can you slow down enough to let your child sink completely into your arms?  Can you survey the chaos surrounding you and delight in the rambunctiousness of your children?  Can you find joy in the fact that your child still needs you, and is willing to express it?  Can you revel in your child's smile?

Our ability to choose to feel the joy in spite of the burdens depends also on keeping our own personal tanks full.  All humans need the replenishment that comes from tapping into something greater than ourselves, whether that's a walk in nature, singing, meditation, or simply the sensual solitude of a bubble bath.  What can you do today to get in touch with that source of joy that fills you with love? 

Good, you’ve got some ideas going. Now, make a list of all the ways to feed yourself, heart and soul. Yes, in writing. On the computer is best, so you can always find it.  Print your list out and post it where you’ll see it every day. Now, look at your list and pick at least one thing from your list to do today, one thing that will increase your joy and love quotient.  Will you:

1. Put on music and dance with your kids?
2. Take a bath with candles after the children go to bed?
3. Go to sleep yourself as soon as the kids do so you get a great night’s sleep?
4. Take a walk in the woods with your child?

Every morning, look at your list and pick at least one thing to do that day that replenishes you inside. If you can plan your JOY moment in the morning, you’ll get to look forward to it, which adds to the joy quotient.

Wondering how you’ll fit this into your busy life?  That’s easy. Give yourself a break. Drop something else from your endless list.  I promise the world won’t fall apart.  Just say “Filling my tank with joy allows it to spill over into my kids’ cups.”

This is #10, our final post in the series Nurturing Yourself While Raising Your Child.  Tomorrow, a wrap-up and links to all the posts in this series.