Parenting Blog

"The key to communication is not what we say, but rather the attitude that lies behind what we say... all of us are telepathically communicating all the time.  Every moment, we are choosing to join or to separate, and the person to whom we're speaking feels what we have chosen regardless of our words." -- Marianne Williamson

Your child may not know what words are going through your mind, but he or she feels your intention.

• Are you on his side, even when he's not perfect?
• Are you so enraged that anything she says will make it worse, or are you willing to listen, to try to see things from another perspective?
• Are you looking for a win-win solution or do you need to be right (which by definition means someone else has to be wrong)?
• Are you able to tolerate his disappointment, sadness or anger, or does he need to "stuff" them?

Life sometimes feels like a battle, but our children are never the enemy.  If we can manage our own emotions, we can find the good will to see our child's perspective. 

That doesn't mean we agree with his behavior, just that we see he's struggling, and we want to help him feel better, so he can do better.  Once your child feels you're on his side, rather than out to attack him, everything can shift.

Parenting is a form of partnership, where we guide and assist our child.  Our intention to join, to partner, is what helps our child feel safe enough to accept our guidance.  None of us ever change except from a place of safety.  The key is to breathe, work through your own feelings, and get clear on your positive intention before you open your mouth.   

Then, you may not even have to say a word to make miracles happen.