Parenting Blog

“Kids may be screaming for the latest gadget, but what they want more than anything is time with the family. Make that your biggest gift this year.” – MidnightBliss

As we move through December, is your child developing a case of the gimmees?  You don't need to make her feel guilty for those greedy longings.  We all have a hungry heart.  Luckily, there are many ways to gently remind kids, throughout the season, of the real meaning of your holiday.  How?

1. Limit TV exposure.  Toy companies whip kids into a frenzy of desire by spending millions on TV ads designed to induce cravings for more, more, more in our children. They prey on our child's tender desires--a sense of excitement, discovery, even closeness to us-- by blurring the lines of reality, or showing happy children playing games with parents.  It’s our job as parents to protect our kids from this assault.  Even if your children usually watch TV, you can record shows and play them a day later, minus the ads.  They'll still hear about the new toys from their friends, but at least you won't be leaving them vulnerable to the predatory manipulations of marketers.

2 Give clear messages about what kids can expect in the way of gifts by asking your child to sift through his desires and tell you:   

• One or two presents they really want that are within your means. 
• One “together” present (such as your taking them ice skating or making a gingerbread house together)
• One present that it would make them happy to give to someone else (“Should we assemble a kit of your old dress-up clothes for your cousin? Wrap warm mittens for a family shelter?")

3.  Take the focus off presents by giving kids what they really want: Your time.  What can you do to spend more time connecting with each child this month?  Can you schedule a special holiday activity with each child, whether that's baking cookies or shopping for her sibling's presents?  When she looks back at her childhood, this is what she'll remember, not whatever present she received.

4. Refocus on What Matters.  Talk as a family about the real meaning of whatever holiday you celebrate.  How can you best express those values this year? 

5 . Help your child discover the joy of giving.  Kids only learn that it's better to give than to receive when they have the experience of giving and find joy in it, so it's our job to help our child find those rewarding giving experiences.  Does your family want to give a gift to the world to express your love and gratitude?  (For ideas, see  Help Your Child Discover His Inner Angel)

6. Fill your child's cup by celebrating the love in your family. Go around the dinner table and share appreciations.  Or make a paper chain together, writing an appreciation on each link: Dad makes the best pancakes, Michael shared his truck with me, Grandma has a beautiful laugh. Or write love notes of appreciation to each other, either anonymous or signed, and hide them around the house where they'll be found. However you do it, let your child experience how giving love creates more love.

And, of course, make sure your own cup is filled, so you can give your family your best, not just what's left.