Parenting Blog

Guest Blog by Joanne Stern
author of Parenting Is a Contact Sport
ParentingIsaContactSport.com

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Wednesday July 8
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When you overhear other parents bad-mouthing kids from the sidelines

Badmouthing kids at a sporting event is not only inappropriate. It’s obnoxious and disgusting as well, and most parents know it and feel it the second they hear it. They feel uncomfortable because they’re torn between doing something and doing nothing. They may suddenly become engrossed in conversation with a neighbor to cover up the noise. They may get overly absorbed in the game and pretend they don’t hear. They may choose to walk away to avoid the scene altogether. Or they may struggle internally trying to figure out what to say that would challenge the bad behavior without causing an even bigger stir.

As parents we already know two things:
1.  We are role models to kids—not only to our own, but to others as well, and our behaviors speak loudly to kids about who we are as people.
2.  We can’t police the world and we can’t control other parents, even though we might like to.

But sometimes we forget another important thing: that we have the opportunity for very powerful and positive input with our kids within our own homes. So, take advantage of situations in the outside world to teach our kids the valuable lessons we want them to learn.

Tip #1
Talk with your own kids at home about what happened at the game—even if they didn’t hear the badmouthing—and use the conversation as a springboard to reinforce the importance of sensitivity, good sportsmanship and compassion.

Tip #2
Badmouthing another, under any circumstances, is the ultimate in disrespect. Use this opportunity to talk with your kids at home about your family value of respect. Reconfirm that you treat them with respect and you expect them to treat you and others with respect as well—no matter what poor role models they may see in other adults.

If you feel the need to do something about the badmouthing itself:

Tip #3
Comment quietly and calmly to the offending parent about what a shame it would be if the team were penalized for offensive behaviors from the stands.

Tip #4
Talk with the coach after the game and ask if he/she would address the issue.

Tip #5
Counteract the badmouthing with cheers and words of encouragement to the kid being badmouthed.