Parenting Blog

"Contrary to popular belief, it is not change itself that is so hard; what is hard is being honest with ourselves, looking at ourselves with no filters and admitting that we need to change."--  Richard Boyatzis and Annie McKee

Would expect your child to “act right” while he was exhausted? How about after he’d eaten a lot of sugar, or skipped lunch?  We’re not so different. Our ability to show up in a positive mood for our kids is completely dependent on the fuel we’re using. If you want to be an inspired parent, you’ll need to power up with the best fuel you can.  That means, in a nutshell, eat healthy and find a way to get enough sleep.  That’s basic self-care. Impossible?  Take it one step at a time.  Some ideas:

1. If your child wakes up at night, try going to bed when your child does.  You’ll be amazed how much better you feel.  Someday you will have your evenings back. Right now, they’re a small price to pay for feeling good.

2. Drop the shoulds and find a sleep arrangement that gives everyone in your family the best sleep, whether that’s a family bed, separate bedrooms, or anything in between.

3.   No one can be a good parent on too little sleep, so it’s worth figuring out a solution if your child is up at night once he's older than 15 months. Babies need parenting at night just as much as during the day, so I'm not suggesting you leave her to cry.  But if your little one wakes frequently in the night, he may need help transitioning into the next sleep cycle.  You can do that by jostling him slightly BEFORE he stirs, so he doesn’t wake but starts a new sleep cycle without waking.  Often this teaches kids within a few days, so they can make the transition themselves.  If your child keeps waking frequently, though, you can help him learn to put himself back to sleep when he gets to those transitional points in his sleep cycle by soothing him with your presence, but resisting the urge to offer a sleep aid that isn’t in his control – for instance, don’t nurse, rock, or walk him.  (It should be obvious that this is only appropriate for toddlers and older kids, who no longer need to eat at night.)

4. Nurture yourself with food that’s healthy.  Eating right depends on shifting deep habits, so transform your eating as you would any other habit – slowly and steadily. Start by meeting your need for “good fuel”  by getting enough protein and veggies and breaking any carb addictions. When you’re feeding your child, make it a habit to feed yourself, so you don’t start craving sweets by 4pm.  Then gradually shift your bad habits to eliminate whatever affects you badly. (For example, if you’ve been having a candy bar at 4pm every day, switch to dates or oranges, and then gradually shift to carrots.)  If you need help from a nutritionist, get it.  You’ll be so glad you did when your child develops terrific eating habits!