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"You got to accent...uate the positive, elim..inate the negative ...
latch on...to the affirmative..." -- Johnny Mercer
Want to try an experiment that will transform your child’s behavior in
a week? Step one is to accentuate the positive. Acknowledge every
positive thing your child does with as much enthusiasm, appreciation
and specificity as you can. Do this as many times a day as you can
catch your child doing something right, accompanied frequently by an
affectionate hug.
"You and your sister played so happily together this afternoon."
“I’m so pleased with how you picked up all your toys! You must be so proud of yourself!”
“The dog loves it when you feed her. Look how happy she is!”
Step Two? Eliminate the negative! No matter how bad your child’s
negative behavior, keep your emotional response flat as you set limits.
No punishment, just limits. Staying calm is tough, but kids live off
our emotional energy. If they get it only for positive behavior, not
for negatives, they'll repeat the positive behavior. The negative
behavior will diminish and eventually disappear as the child develops a
positive self image.
Fair warning: Intense kids need lots of intense energy, so muster all the enthusiasm you can.
What do you have to lose?
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