Parenting Blog

"It's especially important during the holidays to remember that aiming for a PERFECT holiday ritual is actually a bad goal. Not only is perfection impossible and striving for it adds stress, but honestly, the holidays families remember most fondly are those when the dog ate the cake, or everybody got the flu on Thanksgiving. Play it loose, have a sense of humor..." -- Meg Cox

Are you trying to figure out how to get everything done this week?  Or how to go beyond delicious food and family time (or mere gluttony!) to add some meaning and gratitude in between courses?  I'm the first to trumpet the benefit to our kids -- and ourselves -- of rituals, and of learning the habit of gratitude.  And you'll find plenty of ideas on the Aha! website to add meaning and Aha! moments to your family's Thanksgiving.

But my plea to you this week is to remember that perfection is not attainable, but something better is.  Yes, you guessed it.  Love.  (Been reading these posts, huh? I'm honored.)

As Charles Henderson says,  "Thanksgiving involves an act of the will. It's not a question of pretending that everything is bright and beautiful when you know its not. To give thanks is to stand up in the face of the storm and declare that life is worth living."

So maybe perfection isn't the goal.  Maybe what's perfect is finding what's meaningful, what makes life worth living. Which might be another word for gratitude.

You know those moments when pandemonium reigns, and your kids are spinning out of control, and your difficult relative is acting, well, difficult, and you have to choose between those visions of a storybook Thanksgiving versus grabbing your kids and getting them outside for some old fashioned fresh air before everyone loses their mind? There's not really a choice.  Give up on perfection and go for love. 

Storybook holidays are limited to storybooks. Real parents get reality parenting, complete with cranky kids, messy kitchens, and store-bought pie.  But extraordinary moments often masquerade as ordinary life. So look around the pandemonium and remind yourself to be grateful for every minute you get to spend with your children as they grow.  For me, there's no gratitude deeper than that.