Parenting Blog

"In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it "Christmas" and went to church; the Jews called it "Hanukkah" and went to synagogue; the atheists went to parties and drank. People passing each other on the street would say "Merry Christmas!" or "Happy Hanukkah!" or (to the atheists) 'Look out for the wall!'" -- Dave Barry

"At this time of year, when the sun is most hidden, the holiday of Hanukkah celebrates the rays of hope and light. Indeed, the physical darkness of this time of year can be a metaphor for the darkness that often envelopes us ... when the world sometimes feels dark and cold. At such times, we yearn for the sun, and the light and warmth that it provides. Often, it is through simple and unrecognized miracles that we are able to feel the warmth of hope and light." -- Rabbi Rafael Goldstein

It’s the season of miracles.  This week I'll celebrate the miracle of light even in the darkest times with a roaring Solstice fire and a family trip outside to thank the stars and bless the night. Tonight I’ll light candles for the first night of Hanukkah, watching my children’s faces in the flickering candlelight as they sing. And I’ll call my elderly father to thank him for all those evenings when he turned off our house lights and took all six kids outside to gaze in awe at the Christmas tree lights twinkling in our front window.

Christmas, Solstice, Hanukkah and Kwanza share a spiritual message: that it is possible to create miracles, even in a time of darkness when we've run into a wall.
 
In fact, we create those miracles every day.
Every time you love your child through his upset
Every time you find a way to refill your own empty cup.
Every time you choose love instead of fear
You’re creating a miracle.
 
In this season of miracles, take a moment to reflect.  What would make your family’s life better during the coming year?  It might be something as simple as your getting more sleep.  Or figuring out how to help your child make more graceful transitions.  Or instituting date night with your partner.  Or spending one-on-one time with each child, every day.

Or maybe it's a big miracle.  Turning a relationship around. Becoming a parent who doesn't yell.

No matter how impossible your miracle seems, put your disbelief aside for a moment and imagine that your miracle has already happened.
Visualize it as a reality.

What’s the effect on your family?
See each smiling face.

How does it make you feel?  
Stay with that feeling.
From that place of excited joy, say thank you.
Hold that fulfilled feeling as long as you can.
Give up any attachment to how your miracle will come about
And just say thank you.

Revisit it many times a day during this season of miracles,
in every private moment you have,
Not with yearning but with gratitude,
Knowing that your miracle is on the way.
Miracles happen every day.
Why not yours?