Parenting Blog

"Before we can love anyone unconditionally, we must first love ourselves. We have to give and express the unconditional love to ourselves that was not provided to us by our biological parents. We re-parent ourselves not by our parents but by our own inner source of love." -- Anne V.

"Dr. Laura, I know I can't raise healthy kids if I'm always flying off the handle, but do you have any tips on staying centered with two kids? I just don't have time to do the things I used to do to take care of myself, like going to the gym. I'm so tired all the time!" 

This comment (along with many others) sparked the series we just finished,  Nurturing Yourself while Raising Your Child.  I promised to send out the links, all in one email, so they're listed below.

This series isn't an obligatory reassurance that you need to be happy too, and should therefore have that cookie or go on vacation without your children. The bottom line in parenting is that our kids depend on us to regulate them emotionally, which means we have an obligation to regulate ourselves emotionally. If a cookie will help you do that, by all means, go ahead. But my hope for you is much more profound. This series is designed to help you stay peaceful and centered.  If you can use your love for your child as your motivation to do the hard work of learning to regulate your own emotions and moods, you’ll be giving your child a tremendous gift. But the gift to yourself will be even greater, because you’ll end up being a happier, more emotionally healthy person.

The bottom line in living is that we're responsible for who we become and how we show up in the world. If we had a rocky start or a bad hand of cards, it's up to us to find a way to heal those wounds and play the heck out of that hand. The only way to do that is to love ourselves unconditionally. 

Not easy, right?  In fact, it's the most creative work there is:  Creating love where there wasn't any before. I personally believe that work is our purpose here.

Just like our children, we can only “act good” when we feel good inside.  And while cookies and bubble baths have their place, what we really need is something much deeper:  an internal “parent” to love us unconditionally so that we can discover our own unshakable inner happiness.  That's the secret of keeping our cup full.

And that is my wish for you: That you find a way to offer yourself all the love and nurturing you so deeply deserve.  There is no reason to wait.  There is nothing that has to change for you to love yourself deeply.  I know you have faults and have made mistakes -- join the club!  That's why it's called unconditional love. 

If you take nothing else from these blog posts, please seize this Aha! Moment.  YOU are more than enough, exactly as you are.

Here are the links from the series we just finished:

1. Nurturing Yourself While Raising Your Child

2. Put Yourself Back on the List

3. How to take care of yourself emotionally while raising your child

4. Self Care When Your Child Pushes Your Buttons

5. Figure out what energizes you and do it!

6. Let's Get Physical: 15 Easy Exercise Ideas for Parents and Kids

7. Stress Busting Strategies for Parents

8. Feed Your Hungry Heart with Nurturing Connection

9. Take the Stones Out of Your Shoe

10. How to Transform What's Draining You