Parenting Blog

In the United States, we often make a cultural presumption that teens and young adults who are close to their parents are less independent in their lives.  That's not true, says recent research.  In fact, young adults who feel they can share honestly with their parents say they feel free to make independent decisions and don't feel the need to rebel against their parents' expectations.

Dr. Yanir defined a close relationship with parents as one in which children talk with their parents often and regularly spend time together (eating meals together, for example), and one in which a child feels comfortable sharing his thoughts and experiences with his parents.  She distinguished between parent-child connectedness and relationship-orientation, which refers to the child's need to satisfy his parents and fulfill their expectations. Connected kids may share with parents and solicit their advice, and still make independent choices and decisions.

"An independent young adult is one who exhibits independence not only in his day-to-day life but also in the emotional sphere, and who makes his way in life with emotional and intellectual autonomy," Dr. Yanir explained in an interview in Science Daily. "The research found that following adolescence, the familial connection is an important factor in forming one's identity and living an independent life. It seems that not only can independence and closeness exist together, but they actually flourish together."