Parenting Blog

“There's nothing tiny or insignificant. Everything is significant... Whether you are looking at world events or something that's happening in your kitchen, there's potential for connection or disconnection in either case. And it is really only the connection or the disconnection that is of any importance.” -- Abraham-Hicks

How's your week going?  Have you had a moment of connection with your child that made your heart melt?

You need that kind of moment every day, to be an inspired parent.  Why?  Because parenting is hard, and those moments of love are what see us through.  Because our kids feel those moments too -- that's when our love really sinks into their souls. When kids are convinced they're lovable, they act lovable. When they're not, they "act out" -- which means they have feelings they don't know how to express, so they act those feelings out.

What if you could create that deep loving connection as your (almost) constant way of being with your child?  It would be like giving yourself a magic wand.  There would be no more yelling in your home.  Some heart-felt tears, maybe.  Lots of hugging, smiling, laughing, fun.

How?

1. Hold that picture of your loving home in your mind right now, for a full 60 seconds. Watch it like a movie.  How are you feeling and acting?  How are your kids responding? Let that heart-melting, connected feeling soak in. You're programming your subconscious.

2. Every time you feel disconnected from your child today, show yourself that picture and feel that feeling again.  Sounds hard?  Keep practicing. It gets a lot easier.  It helps if you can see things from your child's perspective instead of getting stuck in yours. 

Feeling disconnected from your child? Humans connect most quickly through physical touch.  Play is also fool-proof.  But it doesn't happen without slowing down, letting go of distractions, and bringing yourself completely into the interaction with your child.  Snuggle on the couch, give a foot rub, or start some roughhousing.  Encourage sibling bonding with a "kids against parents" pillow fight.  (Let the kids win.)

3. Don't try to guide your child when you're angry. Is your child acting out?  Intervene to keep everyone safe, and then say "I need to calm down before I speak with you."  Then go calm down and re-center yourself in your loving vision.  If your guidance to your child comes from fear, it will backfire.  If it comes from your loving connection with your child, you'll be on the right track.

4. Take at least one action TODAY to make that loving image happen. Even a small action. Every action is significant.

5. Give yourself a huge hug.  You're a hero.  And you're becoming your child's fairy godmother or godfather.

Tomorrow: Repeat. You'll be amazed at the transformation in your home within a week.