"No amount of 'parenting skills' can make up for the lack of a close parent-child relationship. Kids accept our guidance because of who we are to them. Without that relationship, it’s very hard to parent. A close bond not only makes our kids want to please us, it gives us access to our natural parenting know-how. Welcome to the work of parenting. But it's where the rewards are, too." -- Dr. Laura Markham READ POST
"Only Connect." -- E.M Forster
Have you noticed two recurring themes in these daily inspirations?
The first theme is that when we feel good, we're better parents. Quite simply, we can only give what we have inside. That's why so many of these daily emails are about how to take better care of and manage ourselves.
The other theme is that parenting effectively always depends on our connection to our kids. Without that connection, we have little influence ("My kids won't listen!") and, frankly, parenting becomes an exhausting, thankless task.
Deepening our connection with our kids and keeping it strong as they grow is the work of parenting. Of course kids need guidance, but that only sticks if the connection is there to support our teaching. As our infants grow into toddlers and start to require limits, how do we maintain a strong connection while setting those limits? Can we keep the connection solid as our child starts daycare or preschool? As our kids move into the school years and out into the world, how do we stay connected so we can enforce high expectations? And as our kids evolve into teenagers -- when we get fired as the boss -- how can we make sure we have a good enough connection with them so that we get rehired as consultants?
Welcome to the work of parenting. Of course, that's where the rewards are, too.