Parenting Blog

"If you entertain thoughts that... your child is manipulating you, taking advantage of you, ignoring you, or disrespecting you -- you will often feel annoyed, irritated, and angry.  However, when instead you think in terms of the needs that you and your child are trying to meet, then you are more likely to feel compassion and connection.  And you are much more likely to take action that contributes to your child's well-being as well as your own."  -- Sura Hart & Victoria Kindle-Hodson

Is your child's behavior irritating you? Whether he's whining, bossy, or defiant, here's why -- what you can do about it.  READ POST

"My 7 yr old daughter seems to have a difficult time having her 'cup filled.'  Even after 5 (or more) minutes of games where I’m doing what she wants whether it’s the tickle monster game or a game of cards with her—something that I consider quality time —she is still needy and can’t turn it off.  Even if I’ve given the 2 minute warning, she will continue to jump all over me and then when I’ve clearly stated it’s time for bath, etc., she stomps off.  Her attitude at that point then, in my mind, negates the fun time we just had.  Even when I try to validate her feelings by saying that I know it’s hard to stop the fun, I can’t get through to her.  I do understand that she is probably trying to tell me that we need to do this more often and I am working harder at making sure we get that quality time together given school, work and life in general but at times, when I’m just spent at the end of the day, I don’t know how to respond to her need for more more more when I feel I’ve just given. " -- Amy  READ POST

"Where does resilience come from?....It comes from knowing that you never, never have to be alone….If you feel connected, you will always be able to deal with adversity.  The skills we need to deal with adversity begin not with thoughts or instructions but with a feeling—a feeling of I can handle this.  It is a feeling of No matter what happens, I can find a solution; a feeling of I have dealt with hard times and come out fine before; a feeling of Even when I feel lost, I always have somewhere to turn.” – Edward Hallowell
 
Life is full of hard knocks.  What makes some people get up the next morning determined to try again, while others give up?  Resilience.

There's a common misconception that children develop resilience by encountering failure.  That's a myth.  Children develop resilience by dealing successfully with failure.  When children have the internal and external supports to get up and try again, they learn they can overcome adversity.  When a child doesn't have that internal and external support, all he learns from failing is that he's the kind of person who fails.  READ POST

"Perfect love sometimes does not come until the first grandchild."- Welsh Proverb
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"Dr Laura...Things have gotten better since we stopped using timeouts and the occasional spanking, but I can't seem to help my son feel safe enough to stop stuffing his feelings....he goes from trying to hit his sister to yelling at the dog and won't let the feelings out so it happens again and again.  I try to stay close (to help him with his feelings) but he just runs from room to room."

This smart mom knows that her son's misbehavior is a cry for help.  But how can she help him when he doesn't feel safe enough to show her his feelings?  By building safety through play when he "misbehaves." Here's how.
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“There's nothing tiny or insignificant. Everything is significant... Whether you are looking at world events or something that's happening in your kitchen, there's potential for connection or disconnection in either case. And it is really only the connection or the disconnection that is of any importance.” -- Abraham-Hicks

How's your week going?  Have you had a moment of connection with your child that made your heart melt?

You need that kind of moment every day, to be an inspired parent.  Why?  Because parenting is hard, and those moments of love are what see us through.  Because our kids feel those moments too -- that's when our love really sinks into their souls. When kids are convinced they're lovable, they act lovable. When they're not, they "act out" -- which means they have feelings they don't know how to express, so they act those feelings out.  READ POST

"I give my kids plenty of attention.  What's so special about Special Time?" - Emilee

"My daughter went out into the cul-de-sac to roller skate. I went out with her and we held hands and I pulled her in a circle round and round so hard and she laughed and laughed until she fell on the ground. She kept coming back for me and I just kept doing it over and over again. This is what I love....You are very specific and your ideas work and I see results immediately! We had a great night!" - Christine
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