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This is Part 4 in our series on Nurturing Yourself while Raising Your Child.
"The only way to help our child is to do the work
ourselves. Our child needs a guide through the tsunami." – Leslie
Potter, Purejoy Parenting
Life has a way of doling out lessons that we didn't ask for, but that help
us develop more wholeness. When we resist those lessons, they
land in our lap again in exaggerated form, until we finally tackle them. READ POST
"Why do grownups have to take over everything?" -- Kindergardener, age 5 READ POST
"Amazing how a negative message -- even if it's
unintentional -- can
inflict a sharp stab to the soul and break down a child's
spirit." --
Joanne Stern
Children rely on us to interpret the world: "That's
soft....HOT,
Don't touch!...Say Thank You.... Now let's wash our hands...
We
always... We never.... This is how we do it.....The sky is
blue...."
What happens when they hear: "You'd lose your head if it
wasn't glued
on.....That was a dumb thing to do....I'm so sick of your
....Can't
you....You never....You always.....You make me want to
scream!...I can't
stand how you...."? READ POST
"Instead of focusing on how much you can accomplish, focus on how much you can absolutely love what you’re doing. Be there completely. While doing this, you’ll find that you naturally enjoy those seemingly tedious tasks much more (like washing the dishes). It’s amazing how much non-resistance and presence changes everything.” -- Zen Habits READ POST
"To listen fully means to pay close attention to
what is being said beneath the words. You listen not only to the
'music,' but to the essence of the person speaking. You listen not only
for what someone knows, but for what he or she is. Ears operate at the
speed of sound, which is far slower than the speed of light the eyes
take in. Generative listening is the art of developing deeper silences
in yourself, so you can slow our mind's hearing to your ears' natural
speed, and hear beneath the words to their meaning." -- Peter Senge
Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh has been described as a cross
between a cloud, a snail and a piece of heavy machinery. I could never
be called a snail given my preferred pace, but I do aspire to the
lightness of a cloud and the powerful presence of a piece of heavy
machinery. This summer, I've been realizing that moving more slowly
might be a precondition for that lightness of touch and depth of
presence. READ POST
“Slow down. Realize not everything needs to be done now and in a hurry, and just enjoy life rather than scheduling and rushing... Why do you want your child to hurry up and finish? Is it because you are done and figure he’s had long enough to finish? Is it because you have something else to do? If so, can that wait so that you can give your child the time he needs? Is it because you have promised to be somewhere? ... If you are constantly rushing from one place to the next (doctor’s appointment, haircut, playgroup, music lessons, swimming lessons, coffee date) have you taken on too much? Should you plan more downtime into your schedule so that you have more time to be patient? More time for play and cuddles?” - phdinparenting.com READ POST
"Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it."-- Harold Hulbert READ POST





Comments
Sometimes the advice is hard to handle. Really, what fun is there in examining all the not-so-pretty aspects of your behavior? However, the end result makes up for the uncomfortable muck that needs taking care of. Thank You!
both raised, is indeed best for our family. One of the things that is so hard for my husband and I about parenting with empathy and without punishment, is that there isn't a fill in the blank formula to follow. It takes a lot of creativity, attention, experimentation
and courage!