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Guest Blog by Stacey Kannenberg
autora de
¡A Prepararse Para Kindergarten! (Let's Get Ready for Kindergarten!)
y Let's Get Ready for First Grade! 
Listen to Stacey Kannenberg live on Dr. Laura Markham's radio show!
Wednesday August 12
MyExpertSolution.com
(9amPT/10amMT/11amCT/NoonET)
Tarea para los padres
¡Deténganse, sienténse, y escuchen!
Desempaquen la mochila/la carpeta escolar con sus hijos cada día.
Lean con sus hijos cada noche por 15 minutos.
Jueguen los mismos juegos muchas veces con sus hijos.
Hagan preguntas con varias respuestas para ayudar a sus hijos a comunicarse.
¡Participen en las actividades de la escuela y háganse miembros de su PTA/PTO!
7 Cosas que los niños de Kindergarten necesitan saber
Al principio del año escolar, a los niños se les preguntarán:1. saber las letras mayúsculas del alfabeto y nombrar las letras si están fuera de sequencia, como: B, D, X, K, J, M, O, etc.
2. saber los números hasta 10 e identificar los números si están fuera de sequencia, como: 2, 5, 9, 8, 1, 3, 4, etc.
3. identificar los colores básicos: rojo, anaranjado, amarillo, verde, azul, y morado.
4. identificar las formas básicas: círculo, diamante, rectángulo, triángulo, óvalo, y cuadrado.
5. identificar las monedas básicas: un centavo, cinco centavos, y diez centavos.
6. contar objetos hasta 10.
7. demostrar cuántos números pueden contar para llegar hasta 100.
¡Durante el año, los niños de Kindergarten necesitarán saber…
• las letras mayúsculas y minúsculas, en orden y fuera de sequencia
• los números hasta 30, en orden y fuera de sequencia
• más colores y formas, incluyendo hexágono y octágono
• más monedas como la de veinticinco centavos y el dólar
• su nombre, dirección, y número de teléfono
• vestirse solitos para jugar afuera
• usar el baño independientemente
…para que tengan éxito el primer año escolar!
2009 © Stacey Kannenberg, Cedar Valley Publishing, autora de ¡A Prepararse Para Kindergarten!, Let’s Get Ready For Kindergarten!, y Let’s Get Ready for First Grade!
Guest Blog by Howard Glasser, M.A.
author of
Transforming the Difficult Child: The Nurtured Heart Approach
&
All Children Flourishing - Igniting the Greatness of Our Children
Listen to Howard Glasser live on Dr. Laura Markham's radio show!
Wednesday August 5
MyExpertSolution.com
(9amPT/10amMT/11amCT/NoonET)
- Resist the trap of accidentally energizing negativity! It happens all the time in subtle ways. We accidentally celebrate negativity when we give it our time, energy and relationship. In that way we are sending our child the message that we are will to celebrate “non-greatness” because that is accidentally what we are most present for.
- Realize that all the less energetic words or approval like “good job,” “way to go,” and “thank you” and such, do not begin to touch the realm of greatness. They energetically barely scratch the surface compared to the energy we give to what’s wrong. We need to have a grasp of “radical appreciation” in order to leave a lasting impression of the greatness we wish to cultivate.
- Greatness is a choice and for our children to eventually choose greatness on their own we need to “choose” to see greatness and bring it into the realm of things we distinguish and appreciate.
- “Catching a child being good” will not serve you in propelling greatness. There is a much better lens, which is “creating” greatness by the way we choose to take advantage of the moments of the day and mirror back what we see, detailing the great qualities they are showing by the choices they are making in the moment.
- Children who are led to feel like they are great by the way we reflect and attribute greatness, come to act-out greatness. This is a much better way of acting out.
- Instead of giving discussion, lectures, admonishments, warnings, threats, etc when a rule is being broken, give the energized lecture and appreciation the many times a day when rules are not being broken. Be willing to flip the switch on your energy 180 degrees.
- Make these moments super-energized by feeling the gratefulness and emotion that is authentically there. After all, if you have a child who is very disrespectful, very often, then the truth is when the disrespect isn’t happening, it is glorious and wonderful.
- See these moments of following the rules as a choice because the truth is your child could be breaking the rule and the great news is that she isn’t at this moment. It isn’t just happening. She is choosing to follow the rule.
- By doing this you are making yourself the energetic prize. Your connection and relationship is the prize, so if a rule is broken, just say reset and momentarily remove YOU – the prize. When the rule is no longer being broken, even seconds later, make it your mission to stay in the truth of that next moment and be willing to celebrate that choice of having stopped the problem.
- By celebrate I do not mean giving things and money, I simply mean giving of yourself. Giving of yourself means opening up the treasure trove of your heart and letting the words of appreciation flow. Gratefulness>Full of Greatness>Greatness!
Guest Blog by Joanne Stern
author of Parenting Is a Contact Sport
ParentingIsaContactSport.com
Listen to Joanne Stern live on Dr. Laura Markham's radio show!
Wednesday July 8
MyExpertSolution.com
(9amPT/10amMT/11amCT/NoonET)
When you overhear other parents bad-mouthing kids from the sidelines
Badmouthing kids at a sporting event is not only inappropriate. It’s obnoxious and disgusting as well, and most parents know it and feel it the second they hear it. They feel uncomfortable because they’re torn between doing something and doing nothing. They may suddenly become engrossed in conversation with a neighbor to cover up the noise. They may get overly absorbed in the game and pretend they don’t hear. They may choose to walk away to avoid the scene altogether. Or they may struggle internally trying to figure out what to say that would challenge the bad behavior without causing an even bigger stir.
As parents we already know two things:
1. We are role models to kids—not only to our own, but to others as well, and our behaviors speak loudly to kids about who we are as people.
2. We can’t police the world and we can’t control other parents, even though we might like to.
But sometimes we forget another important thing: that we have the opportunity for very powerful and positive input with our kids within our own homes. So, take advantage of situations in the outside world to teach our kids the valuable lessons we want them to learn.
Tip #1
Talk with your own kids at home about what happened at the game—even if they didn’t hear the badmouthing—and use the conversation as a springboard to reinforce the importance of sensitivity, good sportsmanship and compassion.
Tip #2
Badmouthing another, under any circumstances, is the ultimate in disrespect. Use this opportunity to talk with your kids at home about your family value of respect. Reconfirm that you treat them with respect and you expect them to treat you and others with respect as well—no matter what poor role models they may see in other adults.
If you feel the need to do something about the badmouthing itself:
Tip #3
Comment quietly and calmly to the offending parent about what a shame it would be if the team were penalized for offensive behaviors from the stands.
Tip #4
Talk with the coach after the game and ask if he/she would address the issue.
Tip #5
Counteract the badmouthing with cheers and words of encouragement to the kid being badmouthed.
Guest Blog by Jane Nelsen,
author of Positive Discipline
www.positivediscipline.com
Listen to Jane Nelsen live on Dr. Laura Markham's radio show!
Wednesday June 24
MyExpertSolution.com
(9amPT/10amMT/11amCT/NoonET)
Adults train children to not listen.
Sorry, but this is another case where adults need to look at their own behavior. Lecturing is a great way to train children to not listen. Too often adults tell, tell, tell, (lecture, lecture, lecture). They tell children what happened, what caused it to happen, how they should feel about it, and what they should do about it. This is a threatening experience for children and they learn to take care of themselves by shutting down or rebelling (talking back).
How do you feel when someone lectures to you? My guess is that you feel inadequate, defensive, or downright rebellious. Why would children feel any different? Don’t back talk back. “Don’t you talk to me in that tone of voice!” It doesn’t help if you talk back to your children when they talk back to you. Again, you are modeling the opposite of what you are trying to teach.
Suggestions:
1. Remember that children will listen to you AFTER they feel listened to. So the first thing you can do to train children to listen is to MODEL listening.
2. Use reflective listening or active listening. Reflective listening is when you reflect back what you heard (without sounding like a parrot). “You don’t want to take a nap.” “You are angry because she hit you.” “You find it annoying when I nag you about your homework.” Active listening is when you listen between the lines and make some guesses about what the child is feeling and then check it out to see if you are correct. “You hit Julie because it made you mad when she took your toy.”
3. Validate feelings. Both reflective and listening are ways of validating feelings. You can also simply say, “I understand. I think I would feel that way too.”
4. Once children feel listened to, they are more willing to listen to you. Then you can follow up by getting the child involved in problem-solving. “I understand that you are angry, and what you feel is always okay. However what you DO is another matter. It is okay to feel angry, and it is not okay to hit others. How could you express your anger without hitting or talking disrespectfully?”
5. Brainstorm options WITH children. If they have a hard time getting started, it is okay for you to start the brainstorming. “How about using your words? How about putting the problem on the family meeting agenda to get some help from others?
How about asking Julie if she would use the Wheel of choice (available as a free download at www.focusingonsolutions.com) with you to find a solution.”
6. Instead of telling, ask what and how questions. Remember that education is derived from the Latin word educaré, which means to “draw forth.” Lectures are an attempt to "stuff in."
7. Lectures are especially ineffective with children under the age of four. They are not developmentally able to absorb and understand lectures they way adults think they can, yet they can be left with a feeling of doubt and shame (discouragement that can lead to misbehavior.) The following suggestions are best for children under four.
8. When you must give directions, use fewer words, one word is best. “Naptime, cleanup time.”
9. Use nonverbal signals: point at what needs to be done. Smile, but don't say a word.
10. Use action. Take the child by the hand and lead her, kindly and firmly, to the task that needs to be done.
11. When you have created routine charts with children, you can ask them when is next on the routine instead of telling them.
12. Children may listen carefully when you whisper so they have to listen to hear you. Try it.
13. Have regular family meetings where all members, including parents, listen to each other and focus on solutions instead of blame.
14. Be respectful when you make requests. Don’t expect children to do something “right now” when you are interrupting something they are doing. Ask, “Would you like to take a break and do this now, or is twenty minutes? You decide.” Adding, “You decide,” is very empowering. If they choose twenty minutes, ask, “Would you like to set the timer or do you want me to?”
15. Ask your children if they would be willing to listen to some important information. This usually arouses curiosity and they feel respected because they have a choice. If they agree to listen, they usually will. Otherwise, you might as well skip the lecture that will fall on deaf ears.
Dr. Jane Nelsen is the author and co-author of 18 books including the
best selling (over two million sold) Positive Discipline series
including Positive Discipline for Preschoolers, Positive Discipline for
Teenagers, and Positive Discipline A-Z. Jane claims her formal
education is secondary to the education and experience she achieved
from her successes and failures as a mother of seven children (and 20
grandchildren).
Guest Blog by Jane Nelsen,
author of Positive Discipline
www.positivediscipline.com
Listen to Jane Nelsen live on Dr. Laura Markham's radio show!
Wednesday June 24
MyExpertSolution.com
(9amPT/10amMT/11amCT/NoonET)
You may have heard about the little boy who felt sorry for the butterfly struggling to emerge from its chrysalis. He decided to help so he could save the butterfly from the struggle. So he peeled the chrysalis open for the butterfly. The little boy was so excited to watch the butterfly spread its wings and fly off into the sky. Then he was horrified as he watched the butterfly drift to the ground and die because it did not have the muscle strength to keep flying.
Like the little boy, parents too often (in the name of love) want to protect their children from struggle. They don’t realize that their children need to struggle, to deal with disappointment, to solve their own problems, so they can develop their emotional muscles to develop skills and faith in themselves for the even bigger struggles they will encounter throughout their lives.
A very important perception children need to develop to be successful in life is the belief that, “I am capable.” Children don’t develop this belief by hearing their parents tell them they are capable. They need many experiences to practice their capability. Too many parents are robbing their children of these opportunities—in the name of love.
I’m sure none of you do this, but did you know that some of your neighbors are dressing their children in the morning? And why do you think they do this? Everyone knows--because it saves time and because the children look better. Their clothes match.
The questions your neighbors need to ask themselves are, “Which is more important: expediency and looking good for the neighbors or that my children learn to feel capable and competent?” Your neighbors need to realize that when they dress their children, they are robbing them of the opportunity to develop skills and perceptions of capability.
The first thing these parents could do is create a badge for their children to wear that says, “I didn’t do it. She dressed herself this morning.” Then they can take time for training to make sure their children know how to dress themselves (and realize that sometimes they like their shoes on the wrong feet or their shirts inside out). Next, it would be helpful to get their children involved in the creation of morning routine charts--and let the charts be the boss instead of them coaxing and nagging. It is much more effective to ask, “What is next on your morning routine chart?” than to nag over and over, “Hurry up and get dressed. We’ll be late.” Of course, it always helps to get up a few minutes earlier in the morning--after training children how to set their own alarm clocks so they can avoid the nagging game.
As I will say over and over again—consider the long term effects of what you are doing. Always consider what your children may be feeling, thinking, learning, and deciding. Are they deciding, “Love means getting others to take care of me,” or, “I am capable and feel good about taking care of myself and cooperating with others.”
Dr. Jane Nelsen is the author and co-author of 18 books including the best selling (over two million sold) Positive Discipline series including Positive Discipline for Preschoolers, Positive Discipline for Teenagers, and Positive Discipline A-Z. Jane claims her formal education is secondary to the education and experience she achieved from her successes and failures as a mother of seven children (and 20 grandchildren).
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