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"Odd as it may seem, children who hit
are children who are afraid. The fears that cause trouble for a child
who hits usually have their roots in some frightening experience earlier
in her life, even though she may not seem frightened at all. To manage
her fear, the frightened child develops aggressive behavior that flares
any time she feels tense. Instead of crying or saying she feels scared
when her fears are triggered, she tightens up, can’t ask for help, and
lashes out." -- Patty Wipfler
It's not so easy to feel love in the face of aggression. We
may know intellectually that our child is lashing out because she's
overwhelmed or scared, but we still move into "fight or flight" because
we feel like it's an emergency. READ POST
"An angry child is one who is quite frightened and sad underneath her tough stance. However small the issue, she feels that something absolutely vital to her is being threatened, and she has no choice but to fight. She also feels alone. As far as she can tell, no one understands her, no one will come to her rescue, and everyone is out to hurt her. Children naturally lean toward affection and companionship. When you see a child fiercely attacking her loved ones, you can assume that she is sitting on extremely painful feelings. She puts up her guard, daring us to care that she is hurt and needs help." - Patty Wipfler READ POST
"For me the biggest problem
still remains my own anger and fear when my boy is crossing the line
-- especially regarding safety. He has hurt
me badly so many times. I know that probably he didn't mean it but the
pain sometimes brought me to tears. I wish I could remain calm in those
kind of situations."
READ POST
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