Parenting Blog

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"Let there be times when you don't tell someone everything you know about her problem, even if your understanding of it is better than hers." - Guy Finley

"Self Esteem comes from feeling capable in the world, as well as from being loved unconditionally." - Ty and Linda Hatfield

Ever notice how kids don't really want to hear your solutions to their problems?  Teenagers, particularly, often react with downright hostility when we give them our good advice. That's because they need to see themselves as capable. Every time we tell our child how to handle something, we're implying that he isn't competent enough to figure it out for himself.  We're undermining his confidence, which erodes his self-esteem.   READ POST

Thursday, January 31, 2013 | Permalink

"If you entertain thoughts that... your child is manipulating you, taking advantage of you, ignoring you, or disrespecting you -- you will often feel annoyed, irritated, and angry.  However, when instead you think in terms of the needs that you and your child are trying to meet, then you are more likely to feel compassion and connection.  And you are much more likely to take action that contributes to your child's well-being as well as your own."  -- Sura Hart & Victoria Kindle-Hodson

Is your child's behavior irritating you? Whether he's whining, bossy, or defiant, here's why -- what you can do about it.  READ POST

Wednesday, May 16, 2012 | Permalink

"Why is it my child always wants to have intense conversations after lights out at bedtime?!"  

"In moments of silence, you see children's souls." - Rabbi Sandy Eisenberg Sasso

Don't worry, your child isn't consciously manipulating you. Humans, including kids, are busy and distracted all day.  In fact, most of us go on autopilot to distract ourselves from our uncomfortable emotions, by eating, racing around, or checking in with one of our screens.  When the lights go out and the stillness settles, the unresolved issues of the heart take center stage.  READ POST

Wednesday, August 31, 2011 | Permalink

"To listen fully means to pay close attention to what is being said beneath the words. You listen not only to the 'music,' but to the essence of the person speaking. You listen not only for what someone knows, but for what he or she is. Ears operate at the speed of sound, which is far slower than the speed of light the eyes take in. Generative listening is the art of developing deeper silences in yourself, so you can slow our mind's hearing to your ears' natural speed, and hear beneath the words to their meaning." -- Peter Senge

Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh has been described as a cross between a cloud, a snail and a piece of heavy machinery.  I could never be called a snail given my preferred pace, but I do aspire to the lightness of a cloud and the powerful presence of a piece of heavy machinery.  This summer, I've been realizing that moving more slowly might be a precondition for that lightness of touch and depth of presence.  READ POST

Wednesday, August 24, 2011 | Permalink

"All communication is either an SOS or a care package." -- Kelly Bryson

Wednesday, January 13, 2010 | Permalink