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This is Part 6 in our series on Nurturing Yourself while Raising Your Child
“Don’t
look at it as exercise — instead, play games and have a ton of fun! The
main thing is just to get outside every day and do something you think
is fun. You can play sports like soccer, basketball, or
badminton. You can play games like freeze tag or ride a bike or do
running races with your friends or family. You can go on hikes with your
family or go swimming or paddling. Do lots of different things, and
again, focus on having fun, and doing it often.” – Leo Babauta
You're a parent, so you don’t have time to exercise, right? I can relate. But moving our bodies is a basic part of self-care. We can't talk about nurturing ourselves without figuring out a way to get physical. READ POST
This is Part 5 in our series on Nurturing Yourself while Raising Your Child.
“There is a vitality, a life-force, an energy, a
quickening that is translated through you into action and because there
is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. And if you
block it, it will never exist through any other medium and be lost.” --
Martha Graham
Raising a child takes so much out of us that we often sacrifice most
everything else that's important to us. But if we don't stay connected
to what keeps us energized, we run dry. READ POST
"Dr. Laura, I've already given up on my New Year's Resolution to be a more patient mother because I've blown it over and over."
"Just because I sometimes fall, it doesn't mean I regret the flight." -- Carrie Newcomer
How are you doing at keeping your New Year's resolutions?
(a) Great!
(b) Not so great.
(c) I've given up on keeping my resolution.
(d) I gave up making resolutions a long time ago because they always fail.
If you answered anything other than (a), join the club. Change is
hard. If it were easy, we wouldn't need all these resolutions. But
that doesn't mean it isn't worth trying. Of course you'll make mistakes,
and you won't be perfect. But you'll be headed in the right direction. READ POST
“Slow down. Realize not everything needs to be done now and in a hurry, and just enjoy life rather than scheduling and rushing... Why do you want your child to hurry up and finish? Is it because you are done and figure he’s had long enough to finish? Is it because you have something else to do? If so, can that wait so that you can give your child the time he needs? Is it because you have promised to be somewhere? ... If you are constantly rushing from one place to the next (doctor’s appointment, haircut, playgroup, music lessons, swimming lessons, coffee date) have you taken on too much? Should you plan more downtime into your schedule so that you have more time to be patient? More time for play and cuddles?” - phdinparenting.com READ POST
"For
people who won the lottery -- and a lot people think that's
the golden
ticket to happiness -- within a year of winning the lottery,
they've
returned to their original happiness set-point level.
Shockingly, the
same was also true of people who became paraplegic. Even
when bad
things happen, within a year they had returned to their
original
happiness set-point. The really important thing is our
happiness
set-point. That set-point is 50% genetic, so you're born
with that.
It's only 10% based on your circumstances, and the other
40%, which is
the part we can really do something about, is based on our
habits of
thought and behavior. Just like you can raise the thermostat
at home to
get warm on a cold day, you can actually raise your
happiness set-point
to become happier, and you don't have to become thinner,
richer, or
smarter to do it." -- Marci Shimoff
Did you know
that we all have a happiness set-point, and no matter what
happens to
us, we tend to hover around the same happiness level for our
whole
adult lives?
But we can change our set point. Research shows that we can
develop
constructive habits that create happiness: managing our
moods, positive
self-talk, finding joy in daily details, practicing
gratitude,
cultivating optimism, connecting with others. Note that most
of this is
about managing our thoughts and attitudes. Since all
emotion is
stimulated by our thoughts, we can change how we feel just
by changing
our thoughts.
Sound hard? No harder than playing the piano. Like any
other skill, it
takes daily practice. In the beginning, you'll have to work
hard to
get anything that sounds like music, but in a year, you
won't believe
how much happier you are. So why not start being happier
right now? READ POST
“You can complain because roses have thorns; or you can rejoice because thorns have roses”—Ziggy
"The opposite of complaining is gratitude. We should talk about things
we are thankful for rather than things we are unhappy about. Our minds
are like steering wheels, they take us in the direction we point them.
If we focus on negative things, we will notice and attract more
negative things in our life. If we focus on positive things, we will
move in the direction of greater happiness and more success." - AComplaintFreeWorld.org
Research
shows that when we listen to complaints of any kind, we get
demoralized. Whether we're making the complaints or listening to them,
our minds start on a cycle of negative thinking.
So why do we complain?
Sometimes to get attention or connect with others by commiserating.
Sometimes to avoid taking responsibility for something: It's not OUR fault! Sometimes simply because it's the story we tell about our lives. "You won't believe how awful my day (week, year, life) was."
Parents and kids often complain as a way to lobby each other to behave
differently. With parents, it could be called nagging. "I can't believe you left your jacket on the floor again!" With kids, it's an attempt to elicit parental intervention of some sort: "He's picking on me!" or "All the other kids' parents let them!"
Challenge your family to live this week complaint-free. Put a jar on
your counter. Every time anyone complains, that person has to put a
quarter in the jar, and express gratitude in place of the complaint.
"Not chicken again!" might become "I am so grateful we get to have a healthy, hearty dinner and that Mom cooked it for us!"
"I hate picking up the clothes you kids leave on the floor" might become
"Dinner will be ready in ten minutes. I'm so glad that you kids will
have all these clothes picked up first so I can serve everyone dessert
after dinner, right? I love that everyone in this family is learning
to clean up his own messes."
"Can't you ever brush your hair?" might become "I love having such a beautiful daughter!"
"My boss did it again!" might become "I am grateful to have a job and a paycheck to feed my family."
At the end of the week, donate your quarters to charity. You'll be
amazed how much money you raise for your favorite charity as you
re-train yourself.
May your week be filled with the miracle of gratitude. READ POST
"The
things that piss you off about your kids are the things you haven’t
learned to love and embrace about yourself. Once you heal that part of
you and accept it, your kids change – or their behavior no longer
bothers you. The universe is constantly reflecting back to us where we
have the opportunity to grow, learn more, love more." -- James Ray
When our kids push our buttons, it's always a growth opportunity. Does
that mean you let your kids get away with bad behavior? No. You set
limits. But if you can use the opportunity to notice and heal your own
issues, you'll find your limits are a lot more effective in changing
your child's behavior. Why?
First, because you aren't over-reacting, your child is more likely to
take you seriously. Second, when you accept your own failings with
compassion, you embrace your child with more compassion, faults and
all. So even while you set limits, you stay connected. Kids only
behave to please us. They only listen to our limits when they feel our
love.
Best of all, parenting becomes more fun.
READ POST





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