"Dr. Laura, I know I can't raise healthy kids if I'm always flying off the handle, but do you have any tips on staying centered with two kids? I just don't have time to do the things I used to do to take care of myself, like going to the gym. I'm so tired all the time!" - Emily
"Dr. Laura, I'm great with my kids on vacation. But most of the time, I'm just so stressed out, my default is yelling!" - David
These comments sparked the series we just finished, Nurturing Yourself while Raising Your Child. I promised to compile the links all into one post, so they're listed below.
I hope this series has inspired you to notice your own needs and take better care of yourself. I'm not suggesting that you binge on cookies or go on vacation without your children. The bottom line in parenting is that our kids depend on us to regulate them emotionally, which means we have an obligation to regulate ourselves emotionally. If a cookie will help you do that, by all means, go ahead. But my hope for you is much more profound.
My hope is that you'll find habits that support you in staying more peaceful and centered. If you can use your love for your child as your motivation to do the hard work of learning to regulate your own emotions and moods, you’ll be giving your child a tremendous gift. But the gift to yourself will be even greater, because you’ll end up happier and more emotionally healthy.
The bottom line is that once we're old enough to have kids, we're responsible for who we've become. If we had a rocky start or a bad hand of cards, it's up to us to find a way to heal those wounds and play the heck out of that hand. The only way to do that is to love ourselves unconditionally. READ POST
This is the last post in our series on Nurturing Yourself while Raising Your Child. Tomorrow we wrap up with all the links.
"Looked at from a spiritual standpoint, our discomfort in any given situation provides a signal that we are out of alignment with spiritual law and are being given an opportunity to heal something." -- Colin C. Tipping
We talked yesterday about getting rid of what drains you so you feel more energetic and alive. But what if you’ve found a whole list of things you don’t like and can’t eliminate? Maybe, for instance, your children--or at least some of their behavior! READ POST
Are you Nurturing Yourself while Raising Your Child, yet? We're on the homestretch of this "Self-care for Parents" series, so take advantage of these last couple of posts about self-care, before we're back to kids and behavior!
“If you have time to whine and complain about something then you have the time to do something about it." -- Anthony J. D'Angelo
Our body sends us constant signals about what's not working in our lives. Often, we ignore that information. We smother it with our little addictions to make ourselves feel better (comfort food, facebooking, shopping, another latte.) But that's like having a blinking light on the dashboard of the car and responding by pulling the wires out so the light stops blinking. Your car will eventually break down.
You can’t feel generous toward your child when your energy is being sapped by things that make you anxious or weigh you down. That stone in your shoe may seem small, but it's wearing you down, hobbling your full aliveness -- and your relationship with your child.
What if you just paid attention to those little annoyances, and addressed them? Even if each one takes a week or three to clear up, think how much better your life will be in a few months. READ POST
"Everybody's got a hungry heart." - Bruce Springsteen
"We don't talk enough about how not having a tribe affects us as parents.... I have the fervent hope that we start talking about the exhaustion, need for community and help that we parents need." - Jennifer
Parents carry the heavy burden for society of raising the next generation of human beings. The problem is, in our modern culture they carry it with very little social support. I know you feel a fountain of love for your child, but you can't keep all that love flowing if you don't get some love yourself. We all need connection and affection from other adults, and without that supply of love, we end up with hungry hearts. READ POST
“There is a vitality, a life-force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and be lost.” -- Martha Graham
Raising a child takes so much out of us that we often sacrifice most everything else that's important to us. But if we don't stay connected to what keeps us energized, we run dry. READ POST