Parenting Blog

"But what do I do when they jump all over and get too wild?  Last week they broke the lamp and there was glass all over.  I was yelling like a crazy woman.  I don't know which scared them more -- me or the glass." - Camille

"If our kids have become bothersome speed bumps, we need to wake up and pull off the road before we really hurt somebody." -- Scott Cooper

Many parents try so hard to be patient that they let things get out of hand. Then they snap.  Next thing you know, you're yelling and threatening, casting about for an appropriate punishment to teach a lesson.  That's not the emotional regulation you want to model.  And since it sends your child into fight or flight, it doesn't help him learn.  READ POST

"I'm embarrassed to admit it but I DO feel like life is drudgery.  I mean, I love my kids, but I get home from work and I have to constantly nag them to stop playing and do what I tell them, or we'll never get them fed and to bed."

"When we put a stopper on our capacity for joy by anorexically declining the small gifts of life, we turn aside the larger gifts as well." - Julia Cameron 

Being a good parent is tough. So often, our needs come second.  The exhaustion of being constantly on call wears us out.  And the responsibility of keeping everyone moving through the routine erodes our sense of humor.  READ POST

"Can you give tips on how to stay connected when you feel irritable? There's no yelling going on, but I'm not as respectful as I think I should be." - Katherine

We all have bad days.   As long as you catch yourself, apologize, and don't have them too often, the humans who love you will forgive you.  In fact, the way you handle those small relationship ruptures will teach your child some important lessons about life and love.  READ POST

"Dr. Laura.....I have no idea how to be the parent who doesn’t yell….it is so deeply ingrained into me..."

Not yelling may seem like a miracle, but this is something you can do.  I've seen many, many parents do it.   READ POST

"I love all your advice.  But I find it only works when I can stay calm, which is really hard.  I'm a yeller.  My mother was a yeller. I come from a long line of yellers.  How do I break that cycle?" - Cynthia

"Making yourself accountable to your kids for these kinds of changes is really powerful, for you and for them! It models so much amazing stuff for them (how to set goals, how to do emotional work, etc.) and makes them feel like an important and capable ally in your life. It's not difficult to see how "Hey Billy, can you help me with problem X I am having in my life" translates to "Hey Mom, can you help me with problem Y I am having in my life" in the teen years, and beyond."- Jennifer Dillon

Most parents yell.  We don't even notice ourselves doing it half the time.  Our voice just gets louder and louder.  Or we do know we're doing it, but at that moment, it seems completely justified.  After all, did you SEE what that kid DID?!  READ POST

“Expressing gratitude works. The moment we start taking things for granted—whether it be our husbands or our health—those things stop making us happy." -- Sonja Lyubomirsky, Happiness Researcher

Researchers have found a concrete way to raise your happiness set point.  Every day -- as you fall asleep at night is a good time --  think of three positive things that happened that day.  People who do this get happier almost immediately, and stay happier for as long as they continue this practice.  READ POST

I have been sceptical in the past of hugging a child who is screaming at you and being generally quite awful ... in theory I know it makes sense but I find it hard when they are being so hateful and you don't feel particularly loving! But I had a breakthrough. I wanted my 3 yr old to put his coat on as it was freezing outside. His behaviour was deteriorating and when he screamed at me I just said - "What's up love? I think you need a big mummy cuddle and you can tell me what's making you feel bad." Then I hugged him and he burst into tears. We had a cuddle and he put his coat on happily! It was textbook "Dr. Laura"! - Rachel

"Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible." - Dalai Lama

When your child snarls at you, could you just offer love?    READ POST