Parenting Blog

"What happens is not as important as how you react to what happens." -- Thaddeus Golas

How do you remember not to sweat the small stuff?  Keep Perspective!
 
I know, it's easier said than done. It's simply impossible to see the larger landscape when we're down in the swamps. And every parent finds him or herself in the swamp sometimes. 

But if we can just step back, we realize that things are actually hopeful. Start with the fact that you have this child, while there are people all over the world yearning for a child -- or, worse yet, for one they've lost. Notice how you've been transformed into a more loving, patient, responsible, joyful person just by being your child’s parent.  Then consider the sheer joy and aliveness your child brings into your life.  READ POST

"The main difference between a master and a beginner is that the master practices more." -- Yasha Heifetz, Master Violinist

You've probably noticed that things work better with your kids when you're in a good mood. At least half of the time when we get irritated, annoyed, impatient, or frustrated at our kids, it's because we're already feeling unhappy.  Then there's a spark, our bad mood flares, and before we know it we're in the middle of a firestorm.

The other half of the time our anger is "justified" in the sense that  our kids may well act in ways that trigger us.  But that's only true if we see ourselves in opposition to our child.  The truth is, we're on the same side.  Our job is to nurture and guide, theirs is to grow and learn.  We're not really raising children -- we're raising adults.  If we can take that long view, we're more likely to remember that when our kids trigger us, we have an opportunity to teach them many things.   READ POST

"Our bright, energetic, connected boys often have a lot of feelings to get out every day.  We began a game called "Escape," almost by accident, when the boys were under 3.  We hold them and cackle, 'I won't let you go until all those feelings come out.....you can try to escape, but you won't....ha. ha. ha.!'  They squirm and wriggle and arch and push and slither and I hold them tight.  They laugh and yell and LOVE it.  The game ends with them cuddling up for a chat or escaping -- which is always followed by crawling back on our laps for cuddles or another round of Escape.  They now ask for Escape when they have a lot of feelings inside that they can't express.  This activity can turn an ugly day right around!" -- Lawrence Cohen   READ POST

"I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once." -- Jennifer Unlimited   READ POST

“My feeling is it is almost always best to err on the side of mercy and love. There are many parenting ‘mistakes’ that can be ameliorated by lots and lots of love, and the feelings of security it can bring. I also believe that I sometimes need some mercy and love myself.” -- BarelyKnitTogether  READ POST

"Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again."
 --  F. P. Jones  READ POST