Parenting Blog

"Dr.  Laura, I've already given up on my New Year's Resolution to be a more patient mother because I've blown it over and over."

"Just because I sometimes fall, it doesn't mean I regret the flight." -- Carrie Newcomer

How are you doing at keeping your New Year's resolutions? 

(a) Great!
(b) Not so great.
(c) I've given up on keeping my resolution.
(d) I gave up making resolutions a long time ago because they always fail.

If you answered anything other than (a), join the club.  Change is hard.  If it were easy, we wouldn't need all these resolutions.  But that doesn't mean it isn't worth trying. Of course you'll make mistakes, and you won't be perfect.  But you'll be headed in the right direction.  READ POST

"Children equate being loved with the reality of when we are there for them – when we really show up. And traditional methods have us showing up so much more when there are problems...Conventional wisdom tells parents that the time to emit more energy – that is, more emotion, more facial expression, more volume, and more intense relationship – is when things are going wrong. That’s a mistake, and a big one, because it puts our powerful parental energy to work growing more of the behaviors we actually want to see less of or not at all. Why water weeds?" --  Howard Glasser

What we focus on grows.  Kids are like little geiger counters. They live for our emotional energy -- positive or negative.  So why, as parents, do we give most of our energy to what's going wrong?  Even when we do catch our child doing something right, look at the amount of energy that's behind our responses to bad behavior ("How many times do I have to tell you?!") versus our positive acknowledgments ("Nice job, dear.")  READ POST

"Amazing how a negative message -- even if it's unintentional -- can inflict a sharp stab to the soul and break down a child's spirit." -- Joanne Stern

Children rely on us to interpret the world:  "That's soft....HOT, Don't touch!...Say Thank You.... Now let's wash our hands... We always... We never.... This is how we do it.....The sky is blue...."

What happens when they hear: "You'd lose your head if it wasn't glued on.....That was a dumb thing to do....I'm so sick of your ....Can't you....You never....You always.....You make me want to scream!...I can't stand how you...."?  READ POST

"If you get up one more time than you fall, you will make it through." -- Chinese Proverb

Do you ever feel discouraged?  You wouldn't be human if you didn't. 

Sometimes we all need a little help to climb out of the holes that dot the landscape of our lives.  Yes, some of these holes we dig ourselves (when we aren't watching!) with our own poor choices. Some come from the pressure and lack of support of our way of life.  Some are just biology -- we wake up tired or cranky.  And some are the gopher holes the universe has a way of putting in front of us to make us pay attention.  READ POST

"Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it."-- Harold Hulbert  READ POST

“I was born perfect. The rest is just beliefs that I picked up…I don’t believe them anymore. I choose to believe that I am perfect and whole.” – Caron Goode  READ POST

"Dr. Laura, I see how all your mindfulness techniques can make me a more patient mother.  But I am a little overwhelmed.  When I find my temper rising, what can I do in that moment?  I know yelling doesn't work. I know that my inner critic that tells me I am a bad mother just makes things worse. But how do I remember what to do?" -- Cara
“When we’re afraid, the fear tells us that we must rush to make a new plan to protect ourselves. But if you fell, heaven forbid, off a boat six miles from shore, and a shark swam up and offered to give you a ride, would you say Thank God the shark has appeared to save me? The shark isn’t there to help you. When fear shows up, it says, I can help you. It tells you to run, or fight. But fear isn’t there to help you.”-- Guy Finley  READ POST