Parenting Blog

"Dr. Laura -- How do you deal with your children if they ignore/challenge your limits or expectations? I am genuinely struggling to understand this, I can currently hear my 2 year old throwing water around the bathroom, and her father calmly explaining to her why it's not a good idea, yet she's carrying on. By your reasoning taking her out of the bath would be a consequence/punishment, so what do you do? There's only so many times you can say no and explain why not! -- Holly

First, a consequence is not necessarily a punishment.  Any child can tell you the difference.  When we mete out a "consequence" after the fact, that's punishment.  When we kindly remove a child from a situation where her behavior is a problem for herself or others, that is not a punishment.  READ POST

"My almost 3 year old has been potty trained for a year.  Lately, it's been fun to pee down his heating vent in his room. This morning, he really pushed me to my limit when I came out of the shower and realized he had peed on his 9 month old brother. And then when I put him in time-out in his room (instead of spanking him, which is really what I wanted to do) he peed in his heater vent again. I feel like I try to be a good parent, so I don't know what I'm doing wrong. How much more love and affection can I give him?  We'll start a sticker chart today and hope that works. Because once you pee on your brother, you've gone too far, and we have to fix this now." -- Anonymous

Clearly peeing on the baby is going too far!  Last week we looked at why spankings and timeouts don't really work when the toddler pees on the baby.  (If you missed that post, it's here.)  Today, let's consider Sticker charts.  Tomorrow, we'll explore that all-too-familiar refrain: How much more love and affection can I give him?   And on Thursday, we'll wrap up this little series with some real solutions.  (Can't wait?  They'll be geared toward helping this little pisser manage his emotions, so he can manage his behavior.)   READ POST

"He may scream and produce a temper tantrum on the tiniest provocation. Your once-enchanting toddler has now become a demon or a complete despot...the child of this age is handicapped by an almost total inability to modulate.  He is made up of extremes, exuberant one minute, shy the next.  He says "Me do it myself" when he can't do a thing, and "You do it," when he can."  -- Louise Bates Ames, Your Two Year Old: Terrible or Tender  READ POST

Is your child between 15 and 35 months old?  Join me for  Loving Your Terrible, Terrific Toddler  on January 19.

So your precious infant has somehow grown into a walking (or at least toddling), talking (or at least trying to string three words together) human being, who enchants you with his big heart and drives you crazy with his mule-headedness.  Toddlers can be a handful, but if you can see things from his perspective, and support him as he takes his first steps into autonomy, toddlerhood can be terrific!

In this special teleseminar focused solely on Toddlers, you'll be able to ask Dr. Laura Markham your own personal question. 

Here's what we'll be covering:  READ POST

"Parents often fail to realize the importance of playing with children of all ages. Some new research, for example, by Anthony Pellegrini, suggests that boys who engage in playful rough and tumble wrestling with their dads have more positive social skills than boys who don't.  I always recommend what I call PlayTime, which is one-on-one time between a parent and a child where the child is completely in charge of what they do, and the parent gets down on the floor and gives their undivided, enthusiastic attention (no phone calls or dinner preparations or paying the bills)." -- Lawrence Cohen, Playful Parenting*  READ POST