Parenting Blog

"Dr. Laura -- How do you deal with your children if they ignore/challenge your limits or expectations? I can hear my 2 year old throwing water around the bathroom, and her father calmly explaining to her why it's not a good idea, yet she's carrying on. By your reasoning taking her out of the bath would be a consequence/punishment, so what do you do? There's only so many times you can say no and explain why not! -- Holly  READ POST

"If you entertain thoughts that... your child is manipulating you, taking advantage of you, ignoring you, or disrespecting you -- you will often feel annoyed, irritated, and angry.  However, when instead you think in terms of the needs that you and your child are trying to meet, then you are more likely to feel compassion and connection.  And you are much more likely to take action that contributes to your child's well-being as well as your own."  -- Sura Hart & Victoria Kindle-Hodson

Is your child's behavior irritating you? Whether he's whining, bossy, or defiant, here's why -- what you can do about it.  READ POST

"Currently, a fantastic evening for me is crashing into my son’s bath with my clothes on, chasing him around the house with a diaper on my aqua blue bubble bath covered head, cooking cheap crappy pizza (side of green beans too, don’t worry), and reading Llama Llama Red Pajama to him.  Pretty much all the same stuff I did when I was single, just now I do it with my son instead of my date. I used to run around the world looking for the exact thing I now have sitting in ... my home. " -- Mark Holder

If you're like me, you have a long "To Do" list, and at the end of the day you never feel like you've accomplished enough.  This is your official reminder that your In Box will never be empty, but your children will grow up.  Sooner than you think, you will be the last person they'll want to spend time with.  READ POST

"Dr. Laura.....I have no idea how to be the parent who doesn’t yell….it is so deeply ingrained into me..."

Not yelling may seem like a miracle, but this is something you can do.  I've seen many, many parents do it.   READ POST

"I love all your advice.  But I find it only works when I can stay calm, which is really hard.  I'm a yeller.  My mother was a yeller. I come from a long line of yellers.  How do I break that cycle?" - Cynthia

"Making yourself accountable to your kids for these kinds of changes is really powerful, for you and for them! It models so much amazing stuff for them (how to set goals, how to do emotional work, etc.) and makes them feel like an important and capable ally in your life. It's not difficult to see how "Hey Billy, can you help me with problem X I am having in my life" translates to "Hey Mom, can you help me with problem Y I am having in my life" in the teen years, and beyond."- Jennifer Dillon

Most parents yell.  We don't even notice ourselves doing it half the time.  Our voice just gets louder and louder.  Or we do know we're doing it, but at that moment, it seems completely justified.  After all, did you SEE what that kid DID?!  READ POST

"Distress tantrums happen because essential brain pathways between a child's higher brain and his lower brain haven't developed yet. These brain pathways are necessary to enable a child to manage his big feelings. As a parent, your role is to soothe your child while he experiences the huge hormonal storms in his brain and body. If you get angry with a child for having a distress tantrum, he may stop crying, but this may also mean that the fear system in his brain has triggered, over-riding his separation system. Or he may simply have shifted into silent crying, which means his level of the stress chemical cortisol will remain sky-high. As we have seen throughout brain research, uncomforted distress can leave a child with toxic levels of stress hormones washing over the brain." ~ Neuroscientist Margot Sunderland
   READ POST

"Odd as it may seem, children who hit are children who are afraid. The fears that cause trouble for a child who hits usually have their roots in some frightening experience earlier in her life, even though she may not seem frightened at all. To manage her fear, the frightened child develops aggressive behavior that flares any time she feels tense. Instead of crying or saying she feels scared when her fears are triggered, she tightens up, can’t ask for help, and lashes out." -- Patty Wipfler

It's not so easy to feel love in the face of aggression.  We may know intellectually that our child is lashing out because she's overwhelmed or scared, but we still move into "fight or flight" because we feel like it's an emergency.  READ POST