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"A
journalist visited a town famous for its rampant unhappiness to see if
he could understand its origin. Walking down the street, he noticed a
man ahead of him. Suddenly, a little man, no more than a few inches
high, appeared and ran up the man's leg. He started sticking pins into
the man and sewing things to him. Instantly, the man was covered by
these tiny tailors, all sticking him with pins. He looked completely
miserable as he shuffled off. The journalist saw this happen to one
person after another, until he was ready to give up and go home. The
town was completely infested with tiny tailors; no wonder everyone was
unhappy. Then the journalist noticed one woman covered with tiny tailors
who apparently said something, and the tiny tailors just melted away.
The journalist ran over to her. 'What did you say to get free of them?!"
he exclaimed. 'Oh,' she answered, 'It was nothing. I just told them
I've decided to stop measuring myself.'” -- Guy Finley
Most
of the time when we find ourselves anxious or unhappy, it's because
we've been measuring ourselves and come up short. We're constantly
comparing ourselves to an ideal in our minds of what we should be.
Unfortunately, no live human can ever live up to an ideal. READ POST
"Whenever
I held my newborn baby in my arms, I used to think that what I said and
did to him could have an influence not only on him but on all whom he
met, not only for a day or a month or a year, but for all eternity - a
very challenging and exciting thought for a mother." -- Rose Kennedy
Most parents take their job as teachers very seriously. We teach our kids colors. ABCs. Sharing. Right from wrong.
But
sometimes we don't even notice a much more important lesson we're
imparting to our children: how to manage themselves and their feelings.
This is the basis of emotional intelligence (EQ), which will determine
their quality of life much more fundamentally than their IQ. READ POST
"Perfect love sometimes does not come until the first grandchild."- Welsh Proverb
READ POST
"Children equate being loved with the reality of
when we are there for them – when we really show up. And traditional
methods have us showing up so much more when there are
problems...Conventional wisdom tells parents that the time to emit more
energy – that is, more emotion, more facial expression, more volume, and
more intense relationship – is when things are going wrong. That’s a
mistake, and a big one, because it puts our powerful parental energy to
work growing more of the behaviors we actually want to see less of or
not at all. Why water weeds?" -- Howard Glasser
What we focus on grows. Kids are like little geiger counters. They
live for our emotional energy -- positive or negative. So why, as
parents, do we give most of our energy to what's going wrong? Even when
we do catch our child doing something right, look at the amount of energy that's behind our responses to bad behavior ("How many times do I have to tell you?!") versus our positive acknowledgments ("Nice job, dear.") READ POST
"Your daily meditations are great, but what we really need is the same meditation every day, until we master it. The first step to being a good parent is always to embrace yourself with compassion. " - Beth Sandweiss READ POST
“Whatever
they grow up to be, they are still our children, and the one most
important of all the things we can give to them is unconditional love.
Not a love that depends on anything at all except that they are our
children.” -- Rosaleen Dickson
"It's not only children who grow. Parents do too." -- Joyce Maynard
"Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again."
-- F. P. Jones
We've reached the final step of our series Ten Steps to Unconditional Love. (Links to each of the previous steps are available on this original post.)
Step Ten?
Repeat daily. Watch your life transform.
Healing our ability to love unconditionally requires daily practice as
we catch the curve balls of life. That's because into every life some
rain must fall. Some lives require tremendous courage,
just to get up in the morning. Even those of us whose lives are
objectively “good” still live with our all too human mind, which is
designed to keep us "safe" (read: anxious). Happiness is nowhere in its job description. READ POST
"You may become flooded by
feelings such as fear, sadness or rage. These intense emotions can lead
you to have knee-jerk reaction instead of thoughtful responses. When
emotional reactions replace mindfulness, you're on the low road and it
is very unlikely that you will be able to maintain nurturing
communication and connection with your child." -- Daniel J. Siegel
This is Step 9 in our series Ten Steps to Unconditional Love: Take the High Road.
You know what the high
road is. When you’re feeling really good, nothing fazes you. You respond
to your child’s foibles with patience, understanding, and a sense of
humor.
You know what the low road is, too. It’s when you’re stressed,
exhausted, resentful. When you insist on butting heads or wringing an apology out of your child. When your fuse is so short that you feel justified in having
your own little tantrum. When you're in the grip of fight or flight
emotions and your child looks like the enemy. READ POST


