Parenting Blog

"Understanding alone cannot prevent disrupted connections from occurring.  Some will inevitably happen. The challenge we all share is to embrace our humanity with humor and patience so that we can in turn relate to our children with openness and kindness. To continually chastise ourselves for our "errors" with our children keeps us involved in our own emotional issues and out of relationship with our children.." -- Daniel J. Siegel

This is Step 6 in our series Ten Steps to Unconditional Love:  Lighten Up and Show Up. 

Loving your child unconditionally starts with loving yourself unconditionally.  Have you made mistakes as a parent?  Join the club.  They aren't mistakes if you use them to guide you toward a better way in the future.  In fact, you can't simultaneously feel bad about what you've done and feel good enough to do better.  READ POST

"Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space lies our freedom and power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and freedom." -- Victor Frankl

"Where there is great love, there are always miracles." – Willa Cather

This is Step 7 in our series Ten Steps to Unconditional Love. 

Can you love unconditionally when your child drives you crazy? It's not easy. In fact, it's such heavy lifting of the heart that it builds real love muscle.  But nothing changes your child's behavior quite as quickly.  READ POST

"Try to see your child as a seed that came in a packet without a label.  Your job is to provide the right environment and nutrients and to pull the weeds.  You can’t decide what kind of flower you’ll get or in which season it will bloom." - Anonymous

This is Step 6 in our series Ten Steps to Unconditional Love. 

Unconditional love isn't just what we feel.  It's what the object of our love feels: love without strings attached.  That means our child doesn't have to be, or do, anything in particular to earn our love.  We love her exactly as she is.   READ POST

“Healing comes when we meet our wounded places with compassion."  -- Stephen Levine

Step 4 in our series Ten Steps to Unconditional Love was Forgive your parents for being human.   Can't do it? Join the crowd.  Forgiving is so hard for most of us. That's why today we have Step 5: Heal your heart, heal your life.

Sometimes, we just can't forgive. We know we "should," but we're still resentful, or even furious. There's a reason for that.

No, I don't mean whatever wrong was done to you.  You may well have every reason to be furious, but that doesn't mean you have to be.  Nurturing resentment over the years is a prescription for bitterness -- not something any of us would choose. Quite simply, it hardens your heart, and that doesn't serve you.  And it keeps you from loving your child, and anyone else, with an open heart.  READ POST

"Families are definitely the training ground for forgiveness. At some point you forgive the people in your family for being stuck together in all this weirdness, and when you can do that, you can learn to forgive anyone... Not forgiving someone is like drinking rat poison and expecting the rats to die.” -- Anne Lamott

This is Step Four from our series Ten Steps to Unconditional Love:  Forgive your parents for being human.

When your child pushes your buttons, you automatically move into "fight or flight."  It's hard to love unconditionally.  Of course, your child might need you to set a clear, kind limit, but you'll do that better if you aren't seeing him as the enemy while you're doing it.  READ POST

"Want to feel as playful and vibrant as your children? Want to feel an abundance of energy?  Want to experience greater clarity in all you do? Want to wake up jazzed about the day ahead?  Imagine taking care of yourself in all the marvelous ways you take care of others. It makes sense that, if you shifted self-care onto the top of your priority list, you would feel more rested, more centered, more present to your loved ones, more joyful..." -- Womans Field Guide

This is Step Three from our series Ten Steps to Unconditional Love:  Keep Your Pitcher Full: Commit to radical self-care.  

Most of us find that when we can stay connected to our internal fountain of well-being, it overflows onto our children and we're more patient, loving, joyful parents. To  love our children unconditionally, we need to keep our own pitchers full, so we can keep pouring as needed. Quite simply, we can only give what we have inside. And even if parenting is the most meaningful part of your life, it still requires a whole lot of giving.  READ POST

Today is Step 2 of Ten Steps to Unconditional Love: Unconditional love is like a muscle. It needs a daily workout.  READ POST