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"I connect well with my children (and follow many principles of attachment parenting). I try to make things a game. I don't really punish. We have lots of hugs. Yet still, my 2.5 year old bites his sisters, throws food, writes on the furniture, breaks things. What's next when these steps don't work?" - Albie

Two year olds act like two year olds because their frontal cortex is still developing the ability to control their emotions. That means they throw food, break things, have meltdowns, bite when they're mad, and write on the furniture. But since the brain is still developing through the teen years, kids of all ages sometimes lack the rational control to behave as we'd like.

So what can you do, whether your child's a toddler or a teen?  Help him with his emotions so they don't drive "misbehavior" -- and stay connected so he's motivated to develop self-control. Here's your 3 Step Plan for preventing most misbehavior, for all age kids.  Here's your 3 Step Plan for preventing most misbehavior, for all age kids.  READ POST

Thursday, May 24, 2012 | Permalink

"Dr. Laura -- How do you deal with your children if they ignore/challenge your limits or expectations? I can hear my 2 year old throwing water around the bathroom, and her father calmly explaining to her why it's not a good idea, yet she's carrying on. By your reasoning taking her out of the bath would be a consequence/punishment, so what do you do? There's only so many times you can say no and explain why not! -- Holly  READ POST

Wednesday, May 23, 2012 | Permalink

"If all you did was just look for things to appreciate you would live a joyous, spectacular life." - Esther Hicks

You could probably find negative things to say to your child all day long.  All of them "deserved" and none of them effective in helping your child want to cooperate.

"Get out of bed right now...Aren't you ready yet?....You'd lose your head if it wasn't on your shoulders....How many times have I told you?....Pick up your things...Stop that right now...You're wearing me out....Don't start with me....Leave your sister alone...Are you listening to me?...I said NOW!...What part of No don't you understand?"  READ POST

Tuesday, May 22, 2012 | Permalink

Welcome to the Carnival of Weaning: Weaning - Your Stories

This post was written for inclusion in the Carnival of Weaning hosted by Code Name: Mama and Aha! Parenting. Our participants have shared stories, tips, and struggles about the end of the breastfeeding relationship.

The verb "To Wean" comes from a Hebrew word meaning to ripen.  So when the time is ripe (or maybe when the child is ripe?!) the child no longer needs to nurse. That process is designed by Mother Nature to be an organic, natural one, like any other kind of ripening.  READ POST

Monday, May 21, 2012 | Permalink

"But what do I do when they jump all over and get too wild?  Last week they broke the lamp and there was glass all over.  I was yelling like a crazy woman.  I don't know which scared them more -- me or the glass." - Camille

"If our kids have become bothersome speed bumps, we need to wake up and pull off the road before we really hurt somebody." -- Scott Cooper

Many parents try so hard to be patient that they let things get out of hand. Then they snap.  Next thing you know, you're yelling and threatening, casting about for an appropriate punishment to teach a lesson.  That's not the emotional regulation you want to model.  And since it sends your child into fight or flight, it doesn't help him learn.  READ POST

Thursday, May 17, 2012 | Permalink

"If you entertain thoughts that... your child is manipulating you, taking advantage of you, ignoring you, or disrespecting you -- you will often feel annoyed, irritated, and angry.  However, when instead you think in terms of the needs that you and your child are trying to meet, then you are more likely to feel compassion and connection.  And you are much more likely to take action that contributes to your child's well-being as well as your own."  -- Sura Hart & Victoria Kindle-Hodson

Is your child's behavior irritating you? Whether he's whining, bossy, or defiant, here's why -- what you can do about it.  READ POST

Wednesday, May 16, 2012 | Permalink

"I'm embarrassed to admit it but I DO feel like life is drudgery.  I mean, I love my kids, but I get home from work and I have to constantly nag them to stop playing and do what I tell them, or we'll never get them fed and to bed."

"When we put a stopper on our capacity for joy by anorexically declining the small gifts of life, we turn aside the larger gifts as well." - Julia Cameron 

Being a good parent is tough. So often, our needs come second.  The exhaustion of being constantly on call wears us out.  And the responsibility of keeping everyone moving through the routine erodes our sense of humor.  READ POST

Tuesday, May 15, 2012 | Permalink