Moving 9 month old into own room after cosleeping
I made the mistake of co-sleeping too long. Now I cant get DS into his own bed room. He screams and screams if he isnt in our bed. I was wondering if you have any advice? He is 9 months old.
Not the expert but we never transitioned our children until they were about 2 and able to understand a bit more...then...stickers became our best friends. In the meantime when they outgrew the co sleeper we set their crib up as a toddler bed (it was a 2in1) and side carred it next to ours and either relocated the baby or relocated ourselves for intimacy time. They had a bed of their own and we had our space back but they still felt in the same bed as us. After a while we put the crib at the foot of the bed, then eventually across the room and then we moved the crib toddler bed thingie into their own rooms with lots of hoopla and picking out bedding and stickers and fun stuff. For about the first week or two DH or I would sleep in the room on a fouton and slowly start staying in until they fell asleep and leaving then saying "I'll be up in a minute" and sort of made the transition REAL slow until they got used to things. I couldn't deal with the screaming. Never could so this is what worked for us. I'm sure our resident expert could offer other solutions though.
-- BF Guru
I couldn't have said it better myself, BFGuru. Nine months is a hard time to make the transition. He is too young to understand what is happening, but old enough to know how things "should" be. And he will let you know in no uncertain terms if you forget that he is supposed to be in your bed! So the solution of a "sidecar" bed of some sort (crib or toddler bed) which you gradually move further and further away is a great solution, especially because they end up in their own room but get to keep the bed they're used to.
The other solution that avoids crying is to set up a double bed mattress on the floor of the baby's room, and get them used to sleeping there with Mom or Dad. Gradually mom or dad begins helping him learn to fall asleep with less and less body contact, and resists snuggling during the night as much as possible. Eventually he is able to fall asleep without snuggling, and sleep all night without waking up to look for you, and mom and dad get to sleep alone in their bed. Click here for more detail on how to teach your baby to fall asleep and stay asleep in his own bed.
Some people are worried about their little one sleeping on the mattress without a crib. Personally, both my kids moved from my bed to a mattress during their second year, and didn't need a crib. If they awakened --either from a nap or in the night -- the first thing they did was call for me, and I heard them on a baby monitor. They were not about to get into mischief, they just wanted Mom.
I realize this isn't the advice you were hoping for. I hope it helps. We haven't addressed the debate on letting them "cry it out" because you aren't really asking that question, but could certainly do so if that would be helpful to you.