“How would your life change if you genuinely accepted yourself, just the way you are?" -- Dr. Tara Brach.
Today we're exploring the 9th commitment from
10 Commitments that Will Make You a More Inspired Parent -- and a Happier Person
-- in 2010:
Commit to radical self-acceptance and compassion.
If you're like most parents, it can be a challenge to stay calm when your kid
acts up. We often find ourselves flooded with anxiety: if he keeps doing
this, he'll NEVER learn to ____________ (fill in the blank). He'll never be responsible
enough to hold a job, control his temper, be a grown up!
Most of us know that our anxiety gets in the way of helping our kid learn and
grow. And that it comes from an unforgiving place inside us, a place of fear, of
not being a good enough parent or a good-enough person ourselves. We know that
kids need love, and the worse they act, the more they need love.
But loving unconditionally is hard for most of us. Choosing love and kindness
when we want to scream can take Herculean strength.
There is a secret that makes it easier to be the kind of parent we want to be,
though. And it has nothing to do with our kid. The secret is to love
and accept ourselves completely. When we can bless even those unforgivable parts
of ourselves with understanding, we're more able to love our child.
Want to feel more love in your heart? Give it to yourself! To love is a
verb, an action we take. Yes, love can just happen – but we only make more (and
feel more) by giving it away. And we can only give our children as much love as
our own hearts can hold.
Go ahead – stretch your heart. Every time you feel bad, for any reason,
offer yourself love. Especially if you messed up royally. Meet that imperfection
with compassion. You’ll be amazed how your parenting transforms.