"Is there a way to change how we experience the hair-pulling challenges of mothering? Can one truly alter her feelings in the midst of the supermarket trip from hell? … there is always another way to see the situation, a way that potentially offers greater peace, comfort, acceptance, and balance than our initial response.”
-- Bethany Casarjian, Ph.D. & Diane H. Dillon, Ph.D.
Baffled about what you should do when your kid does something you don’t like,
and you're too upset to think straight?
There are always times when we simply can't get our emotions into alignment with
our conscious desire to be a patient parent. When this happens, sometimes we have
to act our way into who we want to be, and let our feelings follow. So when
you don't know what to do:
1. Think about someone whose parenting you admire. Your
friend, teacher, mom, even your own awesome inner parent who you sometimes are
able (!) to be.
2. Imagine her on your shoulder whispering guidance in your ear.
Listen to her tell you what words to say. Take the words right out of her mouth.
3. Act as if you know what to do. Then
What would Jesus, Buddha, Grandma, a joyous parent, do? Act “as if.”