Social Intelligence for PreSchoolers
Preschoolers are social creatures, generally very interested in other kids and quick to notice and adopt social norms. They're becoming more able to control themselves, and more able to verbalize their feelings, opening up a host of options beyond hitting and screaming. It's a perfect opportunity to teach them social habits that will help them throughout childhood.
Teach kids to negotiate peer relationships by talking with them
about their friends and the social scene in general. If you start
this in toddlerhood, and continue now, you'll give them valuable emotional tools -- and they'll be more open to talking
with you about these issues when they're in middle school.
1. Continue sensitizing your child to other people's experience.
It's crucial that children develop empathy, not just so that they're
nice people (although we all want that for our kids) but because
reading the social cues of others is the only way to function in a
complicated social world. Researchers watching children join new
social groups found that kids who observe and pick up the rules of the
group are readily accepted, those who don’t remain cast-outs.
2. Introduce the problem-solving concept of "We can find a solution that works for everyone."
For instance, "Tiffany wants to play dress-up. Jade wants to play
dolls. What could you both enjoy doing?" They may decide to play
house, which could involve both dress-up and dolls. Or they may
go outside to the swings. Either way, no one loses.
3. Supervise playdates as closely as required, but as loosely as possible.
You may well need to intervene at times, but the more kids have
opportunities to work through issues themselves, the more they learn to
do so.
4. Be clear that it is unthinkable to ever hit a younger child. Teach your child that if a younger child provokes them and they can't diffuse the situation, they need to seek adult help.
5. Keep enforcing the “no-hitting- no-matter-what” rule. Help him explore ways of handling his anger that don't hurt others.
