Help Your Child Discover His Inner Angel
Many children experience the holidays as a time to create lists of all
the material goods they covet, and toy companies 
spend fortunes on TV
ads designed to induce cravings for more, more, more in our children.
It’s our job as parents to protect our kids from this assault. Instead
of excessive presents – which always leave kids feeling unfulfilled --
fill your child’s deep longings with family connection.
Then, discourage the list-making. Instead ask your kids to sift through their desires and tell you:
*One or two presents they really want that are within your means
*One “together” present (such as your taking them ice skating or playing their favorite board game)
*One present that it would make them happy to give to someone else
(“Should we assemble a kit of your old dress-up clothes for your
cousin? Fill kids’ gift stockings for a family shelter?”)
Finally, be sure your kids get a chance to experience how good it feels to give to others. How?
1. Have a Charity night. You could call it something with more
resonance for your kids, like Gift for the World Night, or Tzedakah
NIght (the Jewish equivalent that means restoring Justice). Let your
kids make a “Wish List” of all the ways they’d like to make the world a
better place. Then let each person in the family choose one thing to
do to address one of those issues. For instance, you might make a
donation to Hurricane Relief, plan to volunteer at a soup kitchen
together, and make a commitment to reduce your carbon emissions by
buying more efficient light bulbs.
2. Go to the roots of your
tradition to talk about giving. Kwanzaa, for instance, is about the
principles and practice of bringing good into the world. Celebrating
the birth of Christ gives ample opportunity to talk about good deeds. And the practice of Tzedaka (restoring justice, the Jewish form of charity) is part of every Jewish holiday.
3.
Model generosity. Give to the panhandler, bake pies for the elderly at
holidays. Donate to a worthy cause in honor of the holiday. Make
giving a part of your daily life.
4. Don’t force kids to share
before they’re ready. And don’t force your kids to give things up
“because others are needy.” Giving shouldn’t be painful, and it will backfire.
5.
Volunteer as a family. My kids and I volunteer at a local soup
kitchen, and my kids love feeling like they’re making a difference in
these folks’ lives. It also helps them feel better when they see a
homeless person, to know that person can go get a hot meal at “our”
soup kitchen. What can kids do? Sort food at a food bank. Help you
deliver Meals on Wheels. Stuff stockings to donate to a local shelter
that serves families. Organize a book drive and ship the books off to
Reader to Reader.
6. Find ways to involve their friends, for
instance by having a party to bake pies to donate. Take them to the
local soup kitchen, or to the Firehouse, where the firefighters have to
work on the holiday.
7. Have a Donation evening. Go through
the house together looking for anything you no longer use that could be
cleaned or repaired and donated.
8. Every child deserves the
pleasure of giving her own money to a worthy cause. Try giving a
little extra weekly allowance that goes in a special "charity" jar, and
letting her give it away every year at the holidays.
9. Talk explicitly about your values and why they're important to you. Why do we share with others less fortunate? What does your December holiday mean to you? If you aren't religious, what meaning do you invest in your December celebrations?
10. Model taking responsibility for your community. "It's a pain to carry this trash till we get to the car, but I don't see a trashcan and we never litter.” “This sign says parking is reserved for handicapped people, so of course we can't take that spot.""It's the holidays, and all kids deserve a present. Let's buy an extra one of these to wrap and donate."
11. Start while your kids are young. As they get into their teen years, they’ll find worthy causes of their own.
12. Share the idea with your kids that giving to others is one of the reasons we’re alive. And one of the ways we can all make the world a better place.
