Is Peaceful Parenting Research-based

Dear Dr. Laura,

I am a mum of three adopted children. We have used Aha! Parenting and found it effective, however the professionals working with us think we are being too soft. They also say this is not researched based. Would you be able to comment on this, please? Thank you so much for your time.

Kind Regards,
Augusta

I'm delighted that you have found the Peaceful Parenting approach to be effective with your children.

ALL of the research on children in the past several decades supports this approach.

1. CONNECTION - Attachment research is now at the center of all child development theory, because securely attached children do better on every measure of emotional and physical healthy Attachment depends on the parent's responsiveness to the child. That is what empathy is all about and is why Connection is 80% of my parenting approach.

2. COACHING -Empathic Limits - Diana Baumrind's research from the 1960s and 70s has been replicated many times. Her finding? What she called Authoritative parenting -- meaning parents who set limits but give the child support to be able to meet the parent's expectations, as opposed to punishing the child -- is more effective than either permissive or authoritarian parenting (or uninvolved parenting) in raising children who succeed at school, with peers, and at home. Alfie Kohn, in his book Unconditional Parenting, has assembled a great deal of research on why punishment backfires. This book has been out for a long time and new studies are published every year. Emotion-coaching - John Gottman, one of the world's leading researchers on family dynamics, established two decades ago that parents who emotion-coach raise children who are emotionally much healthier than parents who either shut down emotions, distract the child, or punish them.

3. SELF-REGULATION-All the research done on parents and children shows that when parents self-regulate instead of yelling at their children, the children and parents are both healthier, and the relationship between them is stronger.

So I am not sure why the professionals working with you don't think this approach is research-based. There is no research that would contradict it!

I hope this helps. Enjoy your children!

warmly,
Dr. Laura


AHA! Parenting Magazine
Free weekly inspiration in your inbox Dr. Laura's Parenting Tips
Peaceful Parent Happy Kids Online Course
Peaceful Parent Happy Kids Online Course
  • 12 weeks of practical support & tools
  • Live Group Call with Dr. Laura
  • 60 audio inspirations & Private FB group

Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids

Peaceful Parent,
Happy Kids Workbook

Peaceful Parent, Happy Siblings

CONNECT WITH DR.LAURA ON...

DOES THIS KIND OF PARENTING WORK?

Thank YOU so much for your encouraging emails and Facebook posts!!! Since I began this process, I have noticed a difference in the compassion I show to myself, and how much more that helps me connect with my kids. We are all feeling a lot more overall peace.

WHAT I'M READING

Reviews of the best parenting books l've found over the years