Aha! Parenting Blog

Practical solutions for real parenting problems

Does This Story Have a Happy Ending?

"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending."
-- Maria Robinson

You're making history, right now.  When your kid looks back, this will be the childhood he remembers.  The foundation of everything she accomplishes in the world.

Our kids will remember little of what we say to them.  The memories that color their lives will be about how we made them feel.  They'll be living those, every day.

How we feel about ourselves and the world comes from our experience of life when we're quite young.  Are we good enough?  Lovable enough so that other people come through for us?  Are we competent?  Can we find help and comfort when we need it?  Is it a friendly world, or a lonely one?

By the time kids are six, we can see their beliefs about themselves and about us in the way they act.  Age-appropriate developmental challenges are fine; recurring unhappiness is a call for help. That gives us only about five more years to help our child rewire those feelings.  While it's never too late, it's much harder to influence them once they hit puberty and begin looking elsewhere for love.

Can you look ahead in your child's story and see the happy ending?  Feel that gratitude.
If you can't, now's the time to transform yourself into a fairy godmother.

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