Parenting Your Strong-Willed Child
Have a strong-willed child? You're lucky! Strong willed children can be a challenge when they’re young, but if sensitively parented, they become terrific teens & young adults. Self-motivated and inner-directed, they're almost impervious to peer pressure.
Have a strong-willed child? You're lucky! Strong willed children can be a challenge to parent when they’re young, but if sensitively parented, they become terrific teens and young adults. Self-motivated and inner-directed, they go after what they want and are almost impervious to peer pressure. As long as parents resist the impulse to "break their will," strong-willed kids often become leaders.
What exactly is a strong-willed child? Some parents call them “stubborn,” but we could also see them as people of integrity who aren’t easily swayed from their own viewpoints. Often, these kids are prone to power-struggles with their parents. However, if parents can resist the urge to participate in every argument to which they're invited, they can become adept at eliminating power struggles. Research shows that parents who pay attention can avoid power struggles, even with strong-willed kids, by setting limits empathically, giving choices, and clearly offering respect.
Strong-willed kids feel their integrity is compromised if they're forced to submit to a parent's will. And, really, you don't WANT to raise an obedient child. Of course you want your child to do what you say. But not because he is obedient, meaning he always does what someone bigger tells him. No, you want him to do what you say because he trusts YOU, because you are the parent and have his best interests at heart. You want to raise a child who has self-discipline, takes responsibility, and is considerate -- and most important, has the discernment to figure out when to trust and be influenced by someone else. Breaking a child's will leaves him open to the influence of others that often will not serve him. What's more, it's a betrayal of the spiritual contract we make as parents to nurture our child's unique gifts.
That said, strong-willed kids can be a handful -- high energy, challenging, persistent. How do we protect those fabulous qualities and encourage their cooperation?
This MP3 covers:
* WHY are strong-willed kids the way they are?
* What kind of parenting brings out the best in strong-willed kids.
*What does emotional intelligence have to do with my strong-willed kid?
* Everyday strategies to help your strong-willed wonder WANT to cooperate.
* How to Stop Fighting and Start Connecting
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Setting Limits Solutions (Beyond Discipline Part 2)
Imagine for a moment that when you ask your child to do something, they do it. When you ask them to stop doing something, they stop. They might protest a bit, or try to test your limit. But you're able to stay patient and connected. You keep your sense of humor and hold your limit. And your child does what you ask, without a power struggle. Everyone stays in a good mood. Over and over again, all day long!
Impossible? Actually, this is something you can do. Really! Even if you have a challenging child, there are specific actions you can take to can make this your reality more and more often.