How to Raise an Emotionally Intelligent Child
Managing anxiety in order to tackle a big project, managing anger in order to work through a marital conflict, managing fear in order to apply for a job -- the ability of a human being to manage his or her emotions in a healthy way will determine the quality of his life much more fundamentally than his IQ.
In fact, psychologists have come to call this ability EQ, or Emotional Intelligence Quotient. The links below will help you to raise a child with a high EQ, who, you'll be happy to find, is also happier and a delight to parent.
In this Section
Self acceptance, seeing things from the other person’s point of view, and the ability to regulate one’s own anxiety: Here's how to help your child develop high EQ.
Anyone who’s ever had more than one child knows that children are born with a distinct temperament. As parents we can’t control this raw material, but we can try to give our children the environment that will best help them to make the most of their potential. And you'll be happy to know that the most important trait is within the parent's control: the stability or instability of a person’s inner happiness is entirely determined by the nurture that person receives as a child.
Competent children are free enough from emotional issues to tackle the age-appropriate developmental tasks of each stage of development, master them, and emerge with greater confidence.
Engagement is protective for children. Kids who are passionate about something -- basketball, chess, writing short stories, playing the trumpet – tend to protect their passion. Smoking compromises the trumpet player’s wind, late nights carousing throw off the ball player’s game, and the serious student knows she wants her mind clear for tomorrow's test.
The latest research on happiness gives us surprising news. Happiness turns out to be less a result of luck and external circumstance than a product of our own mental, emotional, and physical habits, which create the body chemistry that determines our happiness level.
Step one of helping your child build healthy self esteem is a positive relationship with you, which creates a solid core of self-love, or stable internal happiness, regardless of external events. Step two is helping him to actually accomplish things he can be proud of, whether it's learning to turn on the light switch or bringing home a terrific report card.
Many geniuses have gone to their graves unaccomplished because of their inability to persist in the face of adversity. All of us have days when things look bleak, when it’s hard to find the energy to persevere. But persevering may determine our chances of success more than any other single characteristic.
All children face adversity of some sort in their journey to adulthood, so resiliency is a prerequisite for healthy growth. By helping your children to develop resiliency, you vaccinate them against future difficulties.
Even if you were born with a tendency to pessimism, you can greatly increase your optimism quotient. Here's how to help your child -- and yourself -- become more optimistic.
EFT is a quick and effective way to release negative emotions and calm kids (and yourself) when they're upset. EFT uses the energy meridians from traditional acupuncture to treat physical and emotional ailments, but instead of inserting needles, you simply tap the acupressure points with your fingertips. There are no side effects. It becomes more effective over time. Best yet, you can even teach your kids to use EFT to control their emotions.
All small children seem to be fascinated by books about emotion. I suspect this is because mastering their emotions is one of the big challenges of their young lives, and they want all the help they can get...
Books can be a tremendous help in explaining death to our children. Seeing that others have experienced loss helps kids to feel less alone with the trauma of losing a loved one, whether that be a parent or even a pet. Re-reading the same book over and over often gives kids an opportunity to process their grief, sometimes by talking and crying, sometimes simply by feeling.