Raise a Persistent Child
"Character”, says James A. Michener, “consists of what you do on the third and fourth tries."
Some parents wish their child was less persistent, especially during the toddler years. But persistence is a wonderful trait in a human being. It's essential to accomplishing what you want to in life.
I'm willing to bet that many geniuses have gone to their graves unaccomplished because of their inability to persist in the face of adversity. All of us have days when things look bleak, when it’s hard to find the energy to persevere. But persevering may determine our chances of success more than any other single characteristic.
If read about Nobel Prize winners, they all have different stories. But they share one thing: the people who know them always describe how that person never gave up. A two year
scientific experiment can fizzle, and that scientist will be back in
the lab the next morning, figuring out what they can learn from what
went wrong.
Most psychologists -- and virtually all parents -- agree with temperament expert Stella Chess that
perseverance is an inherited trait. But there is also evidence that children can be trained to be more persistent. Experience is a wonderful teacher. Kids who persist successfully tend to keep persevering.
Some ideas to help your kids learn to keep on keeping on:
1. Reward persistence.
Recognize it and point it out. Cheer when they don't give up,
even when what they won't give up is their argument with you. (That
doesn't necessarily mean you give in to the argument. It means
you applaud their persistence.)
2. Practice makes perfect.
Help your child understand that no one becomes accomplished
overnight. All experts have worked for years to accomplish
excellence in their field. Reward effort as much as
accomplishment.
3. Model perseverance.
Show your child how one can set out to master something and move
through setbacks to do so. Talk about your feelings as you do it. "I
tried it this way. That didn't work. Now I am going to try it that
way. I’m frustrated, so I'm going to take a break.
I'll tackle this again tomorrow."
4. Teach your child to take a break. And then try again tomorrow. Sooner or later, they’ll make a break-through, and it’s not a bad idea to stop before they get too frustrated.
"A man can do only what a man can do. But if he does that each day he can sleep at night and do it again the next day." -- Albert Schweitzer
"Success seems to be largely a matter of hanging on after others have let go." ~ William Feather
