15 Fun Valentines Day Family Traditions
Married with Kids? Or single with kids? Valentines Day is for Families Too!
Valentine’s
Day is one of my favorite holidays, because it celebrates the purpose of life.
No, not chocolate, LOVE!
We all need to
be cherished. And despite our good intentions, most of us don't tell
our spouses, children, or other loved ones often enough just how
precious they are to us. If we can resist the commercialization,
Valentines Day can be a wonderful opportunity to remind all of our loved
ones (not only our sweethearts) how glad we are that they're in our
lives.
Want some ideas to celebrate Valentines Day, when you’re too busy, too broke, and maybe
even too harried to remember that you really adore these people you live
with?
1. Rethink Gifts. Valentines Gifts are NEVER about the item or product. That teaches all the wrong lessons about love. Make this about the heart to heart expressions that build intimacy and connection. That means handmade cards, extra loving time together, or massages, not purchased gifts.
If you must buy a gift, choose it using the GIFT test: does it create more Gratitude, Intimacy, Fondness and Trust between you, or does it just impress? In other words, a bottle of inexpensive champagne, some sandwiches, and an invitation to a picnic supper in bed after the kids are asleep meets this test a lot better than jewelry or candy. For kids or adults, try one of the gift ideas below.
2. Alternate gift ideas:
- A Letter of Appreciation.
The best gift of all is always a simple letter to your loved ones detailing how grateful you are to have them in your life. Be as specific as possible; “the way you let me sleep in the morning while you make the kids breakfast” and “the way you sing off key” are even more love-inspiring than “You’re lovable.” Don’t worry if it isn’t eloquent. Any heartfelt love letter will be cherished by the recipient much more than a store-bought gift. This isn't only for your spouse; kids feel loved when we notice who they are and what they contribute to us, our family, and the world. Your kids will will reread your letters during tough times. They'll save them for the rest of their lives. - Homemade Valentines.
Kids feel loved when we spend time making something for them, rather than buying it. Why not make Valentines? This can be as simple as 15 minutes with red construction paper, scissors, and magic markers, or as elaborate as a joyful, creative family project for three hours. Need inspiration? There are web sites galore. But I usually stick to the simplest: construction paper hearts with a heartfelt message detailing something you appreciate about the recipient. - A gift certificate for a backrub and snuggle every night for a month. Kids feel loved when we listen to them and give them an opportunity to talk through their daily challenges. Every single day, spend 15 minutes snuggling with each child before bed. Not reading, that's separate. Snuggle time is just chatting, or snuggling companionably. Most kids love a backrub and hand or foot rub. Darkness and impending lights out, along with silence, as Rabbi Sandy Sasso says, helps you connect soul to soul. After the month, you'll realize the gift was really to you, and you won't be willing to give up your new habit.
3. Get up a few minutes early so you can enjoy opening each others' Valentines at breakfast; be sure to include something heart-shaped or sweet to eat.
4. Let your kids know your love is with them all day by tucking little construction paper hearts with love notes into their backpack, lunch, jacket pocket, etc for them to find throughout the day.
5. Make the dinner mood festive with a short family dance party before dinner. Don't forget the romantic slow dance for the parents! After the dancing, eat with candles on the table.
6. At dinner, go around the table and
give each person a chance to give an appreciation to every other family
member. They don't have to be earth-shaking to strengthen relationships. "I appreciate Eli for helping me with my
homework....I appreciate Mom for spending special time with me at
bedtime....I appreciate Dad for always being cheerful....I appreciate
myself for getting out of the house on time in the morning."
7. Find five minutes to spend by yourself giving thanks for those you
love. One at a time, visualize yourself hugging them, and them beaming
back at you. Let the infinite tenderness of your love for them wash over
you. Ask for help to let go of anything that gets in the way of being
close to this person, who is so precious to you.
(Does the idea
of asking for help bother you? It doesn’t have to be God, or even the
healing spirit of the universe, that you’re talking to. It could simply
be your own deepest wisdom, which is also the heart of love. The
interesting thing about asking for help in this way is that, at least in
my experience, it always works...although not necessarily as we would have expected.)
8. Spread the love. Before Valentines Day, invite your kids' friends to make Valentines. Good music (theirs), delicious snacks (your job)
and a digital or instant camera ("Here's a picture of me making your
valentine") seem to provide enough cool context for tweens and even
younger teens to let themselves enjoy this project. In fact, inviting
friends always seems to double the fun, whatever their age.
9.
Keep Valentines from past years and decorate the house with them for the
week before and the week after. Each year you’ll ooh and ah over
beautiful ones from the past, and the messy, misspelled hearts from the
little ones will become priceless evidence of their past adorableness,
which even they will treasure as they get older. For
the month of February, your house will be papered with love.
10. Your kids
can make very simple Valentines for their class, which do so much more
to fill kids' cups than the store-bought "fast-food" ones. Just cut out
hearts, or run them out of the computer. Your child can color and
decorate and elaborate as much or little as he wants. Or take your child's
drawing and have it color-xeroxed with red ink, then just write in the names.
11. Make some
extra valentines to pass out as you go through your day, if you can
summon up the energy. You’ll be amazed whose day you’ll be moved to
brighten: the subway token clerk, the grocer, coworkers, neighbors, a
homeless person you pass on the street. And you'll go home with your own
heart glowing and a few sizes larger. You might even just want to leave anonymous valentines at each neighbor's door.
12. Need Candy to make the day
complete? In our house, sweets were never a major part of valentines
day, but my kids certainly came home from school with treats, and we often make cookies if we can find the time. Be aware that teachers
say the red dye is worse than the sugar in setting kids off, and
scientists think it is pretty bad for you. Chocolate, on the other hand,
is the perfect food, according to the strictly unscientific research
I've conducted.
13. How about a telephone
valentine chain? Call someone dear to your family and pass the phone
around to take turns telling this person you love them. Then ask that
person to “Pass it forward” by calling someone they love, asking that
person to call another, etc.
14. Sound surround yourself with love. This is the day for your LoveSong playlist. Skip the heartbroken ones and go straight for celebration, all day long!
15. Love in Practice. If you'd like your kids to take pride in making the world a better place, Valentines
Day is a great opportunity to express love for others by taking valentines
goodies or homemade valentines to a nursing home, hospital, or soup
kitchen.
As four wise teachers once said, “In the end, the love
you take is equal to the love you make.” However you decide to
celebrate, I hope February 14 brings more love into your life. Happy
Valentines Day!
