Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids Workbook:
by Dr. Laura Markham
Using Mindfulness and Connection
to Raise Resilient, Joyful Children
and Rediscover your Love of Parenting
Avg. 4.6 out of 5 stars
Dr. Laura Markham's book is an extremely useful guide for parents in connecting with their children's emotions. It is highly gratifying to finally see a research-based guide for parents. Every parent will want a copy of this book.
John Gottman, PhD
Reviews From Professionals
Dr. Laura Markham's work is practical, easy-to-apply and transformative. Get a cup of coffee, find a comfy chair, and be prepared to get great advice from a wise, new friend and fellow parent.
Jacqueline Green, Host of the Great Parenting Show
How do you react when your kids act up? Dr. Markham says the number one best thing a parent can do is control her emotions. We're the grown-ups, she reminds parents, and the kids are usually just acting like kids. This book addresses parents who want to stop yelling and stop relying on drastic discipline. It's written for families who want to strengthen their connections and increase their respect for one another. Basically, we want our kids to do what we ask without all of the drama.
She tailors her advice for parents who have babies, toddlers, preschoolers and elementary age children. The tone throughout is warm and fuzzy, but I know that her compassionate parenting ideas work. My husband is a master of these techniques, and I'm still learning.
Parents.com (by Kristen Kemp)
A clinical psychologist specializing in child development and parenting, and founder of AhaParenting.com, Markham turns some commonly touted advice on its head, but not without first building a convincing case for her assertion that peaceful parenting is based upon unconditional love and connection. The book is divided into three "big ideas": regulating yourself; fostering connection; and coaching, not controlling. In Part One, she helps parents learn how to be mindful, patient, and manage anger. She then moves on to the importance of connection, the cornerstone of her parenting approach. A secure connection, Markham maintains, helps a child feel safe enough to explore the world, while pushing emotional independence creates needier children in the long run. With preventive maintenance such as "special time," in which the parent gives the child 100% of his/her attention for an allotted period, Markham lights the way to better-behaved kids. In Part Three, she reveals how punishment -- including the popular use of "time-out"--actually promotes bad behavior and lowers self-esteem. Instead, the author shows parents how to offer "loving guidance." She also advises avoiding the "slippery slope of disconnection" linked to "self soothing" which, she says, teaches babies that their needs will not be met and increases stress hormones. In this compassionate yet practical text, Markham deftly leads parents down a gentler, kinder path to raising emotionally intelligent and happier children.
Reviews From Parents
I am kind-hearted and not a yeller by nature and with my strong willed/high emotional needs child, I was feeling overwhelmed and at the end of my rope. Yelling and spanking were being suggested to me to deal with my son and it didn't feel right and it wasn't working! Now I know that I can be my loving self and I have the tools to work with my son in a way that doesn't ask me to change myself in negative ways (harden my heart and just become more strict, etc.) Thank you. I wish I had found this book when my son was an infant. At least we get to start going in a positive direction at 3 1/2 years. My husband has also completely jumped on board and I am so in love with all the positive changes he has made. Empathic limits has strengthened our entire family relationship. If you're a mom like me, then you need to do yourself and your children a favor and read this book. Life changing!
Dr. Laura's work has profoundly changed my parenting...I recommend it to anyone who was raised in a home where they were yelled at and/or have become yellers themselves. There is a better, more effective way to relate to and guide our children. The title really says it all.
The book has many ideas that can help parents stop yelling and over-reacting and really start parenting calmly and effectively, even during stressful situations. From meltdowns and power struggles to outlining more positive ways to deal with unacceptable behavior, the book is a fantastic resource for parents that want to really enjoy parenting and have a house full of truly happy children.
Following your advice has meant our son rarely has tantrums anymore. Dr. Laura's advice really works and makes being a parent (and a child, I'd say) much better. I don't pretend I am perfect all the time, but she helps me to learn and do better by my son.
Beatrice, mother of two year old boy
Absolutely love this book! I bought multiple copies to share with other parents searching for the right parenting method. Most of the mainstream best sellers did not feel right.
"What’s unique about this book is the step-by-step examples offering specific language that will resonate with kids of different ages. You might be skeptical at first, but these strategies work."
This book changed my relationship with my kids. It gave me a good insight that understanding kids instead of yelling at them changes them so much. My son is so much more cooperative since I started empathizing with him and connecting with him. Thank you Dr Laura.
Christina, mother of 3
I am about half way through the book and have started using some of the techniques that it teaches. I have already noticed a difference in how my daughter and I are interacting with each other. Highly recommend this book!
I've searched high and low for parenting guidance that is sensible, simple, effective and adaptable. That does not heap guilt upon me. That strikes a chord so it's easy to remember when I need it most. I have found it in Dr. Laura Markham. My relationship with my 4 year old has improved 1000 fold since trying your methods. The way you teach this simple message of love has made it revolutionary for me.
Daniela, mother of 4 yr old and 2 yr old girls
Although this book is based on accepted, current, scientific work, Laura Markham's humanity, experience and practicality shine through. I swear this book has made me a better grandparent. It helped me see the world through the little ones' eyes and carefully suggested strategies, scripts and thoughts which have directly helped me sail through some rough waters with my grandchildren. Soon after reading the book, I had an encounter with one of my grandkids, one who has difficulties with many tasks and melts down very easily, even at age 7. He burst into tears when I reminded him to go to the bathroom before we left the house. I was puzzled by this response, and had an instinct to dig in my heels and respond with annoyance and strictness. Instead, I thought, "What would Laura do?" I actually felt myself at peace as I pulled back and said with some humor that boy, he really, really didn't want to go to the bathroom, but he had not had an accident in years, so it didn't seem worth a battle. I said that I was surprised at his reaction, but something clearly must be bothering him, so we could skip it or did he have another suggestion about what to do. Suddenly, he calmed down, radiated gratitude for my acknowledgement of his distress. He suggested that if he could take his coat off, it would be much easier and off he pranced to do so. Laura's voice in my head, her examples, humor, equanimity and solid scientific basis--all made me love this book. I bought one for each of my adult kids, whose children range from newborn to age 8--something in there for everyone.
Easy read, age appropriate examples of various techniques to help you model dialogue with your child, and she speaks to the research/psychology/neurological reasoning behind it all. A must read!
Fizzy, Mother of 4 year old
I saw immediate results with my 4 year old when I changed MY parenting to Dr. Markham's suggestions. I was glad to finally come across a book that focused on parents changing to work in unison with their children rather than forcing my child to adapt to my then, not so correct parenting.
In my opinion, this is the book they should send you home from the hospital with. Every parent will find it useful. Every child will benefit from the methods promoted in this book.
Best discipline book I've read! Putting them into practice and already seeing a huge difference in how our toddler responds to us and handles tantrums. We've also learned to get a better grip on our emotions. Great, practical tips (with research to back it up) for all ages!
I'm a brand new mama and highly interested in becoming a gentle parent. The words of this book resonate with my heart. She helps make my ideal parenting style attainable with clear, organized examples and detailed suggestions. Even though my little lady is still quite tiny, I can use this book now and also 3, 5 and even 10 years from now. I know our copy will be well loved as we learn how to best love our child and future children.
Jen, new mother
If only this book could be issued to all parents-to-be, the world would probably be a brighter place. I am so glad I found this book and can't wait for my husband to finish reading it too. It's great to find a parenting book based on actual research, by an actual professional, rather than the countless books with misleading, and often harmful, information. Thank you Laura Markham!
If I thought for a minute that this connection-based parenting style was resulting in a bratty, selfish, entitled, walk-all-over-you kid, I would drop it like a hot potato and look for something else. Thankfully, I don't have to, because I find just the opposite. My daughter is almost 9, we have a great connection, she is thriving and a pleasure to be around.
Jennifer, mother of 9 year old
This book has helped me to connect with my children. It has wonderful information in it on how to be more loving with our children and how to support their emotional needs. I have almost stopped yelling in the house and I feel so much more connected to my boys. I can tell that they feel the same way and are listening to me more. It's amazing.
Putting all of Dr. Laura's theories together into some cohesive themes in one place is really useful and practical. I like that she has overarching ideas, but also provides real-world, practical strategies for dealing with our own emotions or certain circumstances. This is going on my must-have list for new parents.
When you know in your heart you don't want to yell at/spank/punish/blame/threaten/bribe your children it can be hard to know what else you can do. This book has been perfect for me in providing practical ideas for how to do things differently, I'm only half way through and it has already helped me enormously and I have a more peaceful family already. Thanks to Dr Markham for your blog and this book.
KP Lockhart, Australia
The BEST part of this book is that it focuses first on us, the parent, explaining how regulating and changing our behavior, and modeling that, will change the relationships we have with our children..I have been recommending this book to all of my friends. It's easy and quick and amazing.
I have been following Dr Laura Markham's website, AHA parenting; this book summarizes the best of several year's teachings, in a way useful for everyone, parents, as well as grandparents. It's OK for child to show emotions, negative as well as positive, better when parents try to understand the tears, instead of turning them off, or tuning out. Highly recommended reading for all!
How many time parents/ caregivers (and I) have said "I wish kids came with a manual", well now you have the manual! Laura Markham has made it possible. Whether you have an an idea of what you are doing and just want reassurance, or you just don't have a clue and wish for the best possible outcome for your children, Laura Markham has it sussed!
I have turned into something of a parenting-book junkie since my daughter reached age 15 months and made me feel like I was losing my mind. You know the type...she would hit the dog, I would say no, then she would look me in the eye and punch the dog. Anyway, since then I have read at least 12 parenting books, and this book is definitely in my top 2. My only caveat is that I come from a long line of yellers, and I am doing my best, but sometimes my volume goes up. Dr. Markham teaches to never ever raise your voice, and I'm trying, but that's where my other top 2 book comes in: How To Talk So Kids Will Listen... (Faber and Mazlish). If you absolutely must raise your voice, they describe how to do it without ruining your kids. These books are quite complementary in my mind: Dr. Markham's is the big picture and How to Talk expounds on the details. If you don't read any other parenting books, please read these two. I just wish this one had been published when my daughter was born!
Mother of 2 year old girl
My son recently turned 2 and it seemed overnight, he became easily frustrated and had a hard time calming down. There have also been times where he would not listen to me (like running away in public), and our time together would become a battle. I just knew there had to be a better way, but wasn't sure what to do. I've always considered myself (or aspired to be) a "peaceful parent," but that's not how I grew up, so I wasn't sure what to model for him. Well, this book has given me the tools and it's been an eye-opener! It's an easy read, and it explains so much! Instead of reacting to everything, PAUSE (the book tells you how, ha ha)! I've noticed a major difference in just a week--with myself, my marriage, and my son! Now, I get to be the parent I've always wanted to be: one who really enjoys her child and has internal peace. I always admired those moms at church who had 8 kids and seemed unfazed by the little things. Here I have one child, and couldn't seem to center myself. This book has been it for me! Being a peaceful parent can be achieved, fellow Moms and Dads!
Mrs. UGA Roberta
Great Book. Just get it and don't think twice, especially if you are having trouble with your kids(s) or your own anger management and how to effectively deal with it.
As a mom to 3 under 4 I struggled. This book has helped my home go from a highly stressful environment to a more relaxed home. I understand now what I've to do, my kids cooperate (not all the time) and listen more. I think this book should be a mandatory read and it would change our world.
Using the advice in this book, I started doing more intentional connecting with my son every day -- roughhousing and playing connecting games. In just a few days, I saw a huge difference. Implementing Dr. Laura's advice feels SO good all around.
Oregon mother of 2
The book makes parenting fun--she encourages laughter, silliness, zaniness and goofiness. It's really the magical ingredient that can many times get lost in day to day living. She has creative ideas to connect with even the smallest opportunity.
Patty, mother of 2
As many people have said before, I wish I had run across Dr. Markham years ago, but "it's never too late".
I haven't purchased any parenting ("discipline") books until this one, and I feel like it will be the last parenting book I will ever need to buy. This book is not a quick, one-time read, but rather a reference to have close by at all times. I highly recommend this book! As Dr Laura has said, Always Parent with LOVE!
Rashonda, mother of 17-month old girl
There is so much pressure to use punishments and manipulative rewards to discourage bad behavior and reinforce good behavior. This book gives parents permission to parent with love and compassion and without hardening their hearts to their child's needs and feelings. I heartily recommend this book to parents of young children, the sooner the better.
Actionable hints and tips on how to raise a confident, motivated child in today’s hectic lifestyle.
Sarah at One Mum & A Little Lady Blog
My son thanked me this morning for reading this book. He said I am turning into the mom he always wanted. "Even if it means you don't always get your way?" I asked. He replied, "It's easy to learn from my mistakes when you aren't yelling at me about them." I almost burst into tears. This book is amazing, and by reading it I showed him that it is never to late to change your ways.
Shannon, mother of 8 yo boy
What a wonderful book! It delivers practical yet transforming ideas gently. There is no judgement in its pages, only compassion and real understanding. If you wish to find a way to parent the way you dreamed of when you first held your baby in your arms this is the book.
I am halfway through Chapter 3... it is going so slow because I have SO many notes that I am making along the way. Great book to help start you on a more peaceful path to non-violent parenting.
Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids by Dr. Laura Markham has great insights on how to meet children’s needs at different ages and how forming secure bonds helps them as they go through the challenges of growing up.
I love this book! The book helps you understand a child's perspective and what children want and need from their parents. The three basic principles make sense and are backed up by research. There are also practical hints about how to put them into practice.
This isn't another "techniques" parenting book - it's a way of life. This book isn't another book trying to find creative ways to punish your kids, but it's instead about connecting and having a great relationship with your kids. It isn't about being a perfect parent...it's about being the type of parent you WANT to be. I'd recommend this to ANYONE with kids.
This book has definitely changed the way I approach parenting. It gives me ideas on how to interact with my daughter and since I've started implementing some of the ideas, there has definitely been a change on how my daughter and I interact with each other. More love and understanding...that's what the entire world needs. The effects of this book will leave lasting effects and in turn change the world.
About The Book:
Experience a happier family life, with a lot less drama and a lot more love!
In her groundbreaking guide Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids, Dr. Laura Markham helped millions of parents better understand their children and their own emotions, so they could parent in a more empathetic and emotionally connected way.
Now, parents can take Dr. Markham's simple yet transformative approach even deeper -- with this personalized, interactive and practice-filled companion workbook.
Research-based, and parent-tested, the Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids Workbook will help parents:
- Use games and exercises to increase laughter and play, while decreasing tantrums and fights.
- Teach your brain new skills so you don't get upset so often and can calm down faster.
- Practice discipline strategies that teach kids self-management and emotional intelligence.
- Strengthen your bond with your child so they want to cooperate.
- Discover simple mindfulness and meditation exercises to find peace in a busy home.