Early Teen
Age 13-15 years
Parenting an early teen is a lot like parenting a toddler in some ways. The developmental stage is all about moving toward independence, not always gracefully or responsibly.
We can't change our child's basic personality, and the outside environment has a profound effect, from peers to school to media. But how we parent makes the critical difference in how our teen acts, from how rebellious he is to whether she throws emotional tantrums, from whether he gets enough sleep to how studious she is.
If we can manage our own emotions, extend respect, offer appropriate freedom, and maintain intimacy and communication -- a tall order for most parents -- we can be pleasantly surprised by how rewarding the teen years can be. The rewards are huge, as we watch our child transform and blossom in front of our eyes.
Start Here:
Gameplan for Peaceful Parenting Your Early Teen
Good relationships between teenagers and their parents, as rated by both, are positively correlated with school success and general happiness.
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Navigate Your Teen’s Emerging Independence
If we've accepted our child's dependency needs AND affirmed her development into her own person, she'll stay fiercely connected to us even as her focus shifts.
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Setting Limits with Teens and Preteens
Parenting teens and preteens can be aggravating. Just as with little ones, respect works better than coercion, you still have to hold your limits, and a sense of humor is essential. Here's how to support your young person to meet your expectations, while at the same time strengthening your relationship with them.
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Beyond Discipline for Teens
So discipline as we usually think of it backfires with teens. If you come down like a sledge hammer, you can count on open rebellion. Here's what to do instead.
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Want a Trustworthy 14 Year Old?
My Aha! Parenting moment this week came when my almost 14 year-old daughter had some friends over for a sleepover. Here's what happened...
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"This website is gold!! Just what I needed. None of the other methods of "disciplining" were working for us. These articles are really helping me understand what my son needs. And the way you give specific actions to take, with suggested words! I often find myself thinking when reading about parenting, "But how exactly do I implement that????" I feel like I'm left hanging. This website does not leave me hanging. Thank you! We all want to be awesome parents; we just don't know how." - Lisa Ryder
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Megan Nida
Yours is the best advice I've found so far on what to do when you, the parent,are angry. Most say something like, "Deal positively with your anger!" which makes me say, "Like HOW?" - Rachel at Milkbreath and Me
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Dr. Laura is a parent whisperer! - Liz McIntosh
Liz McIntosh
Dr. Laura's parenting advice completely changed my relationship with my daughter, improved her self-esteem, and transformed our lives. Providing my daughter with acknowledgement of her feelings and point of view reduced her oppositional behaviors and emotional meltdowns to nearly none. - Jodie Tokatlian
Dr. Laura, you have created miracles, large and small, in so many lives and our children thank you.
Folks, she's brilliant. It's wonderful to have parenting experts who don't see the child as the enemy in a locked combat, for one thing. I recommend it.
I don't even have kids but I subscribe to your blog because you have amazing life lessons, and because I work with an autistic child and your blog really helps me stay grounded, sane, and compassionate with my work. - Mila Kim
Mila Kim
"I'd really recommend Laura Markham's Aha! parenting books and website for brilliantly practical ways to parent with kindness instead of punishment." - Makchoon
Makchoon
I have seen amazing improvement in my *very* angry 17 year-old son after acknowledging that there was a reason he was so angry and acting out. We have had several heartfelt conversations and I have seen a real change in how he treats his younger brother, and how he treats me.
I know that I am a better parent thanks to Dr. Laura's inspirational words and suggestions.
I love AhaParenting because there is always a "pick yourself up and try again" to it. - Chantal Harrison
Chantal Harrison
It's like these emails were meant for me. - Caroline Henry
My daughter reacts so much better when I empathize and stay patient. And now I get to model that behavior instead of letting my frustration get the better of me.
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Thank you for you weekly emails, blogs, & books. They're a life line when I really need support during a rough patch. - Lisa Fernandez
Lisa Fernandez
Thank you so much for this great advice! You give me ideas for how I can "do it better" and that lifts me up with hope and positivity too!
Today I say thank you, tears streaming from my face, so proud of my little boy and all he will become. Thank you. - Jennifer B.
Jennifer B
Yes. It works. And the more rest I get, the more patience I have. It makes a difference.
